Moving on (sequel to I never told you)

The right thing to do

Louis' POV
I watched the tele in anticipation. Matilda sat on the sofa next to me, watching something on her tablet. He looked flawless on tele, and my heart warmed at how content he looked.
I had known when one direction spilt this wouldn't be the end for Harry, music was his life. For the last four years he had kept a journal full of songs he had been writing. 'Sign of the times' being amongst them.
I wanted to be a supportive boyfriend I really did, but after being out of the spotlight for so long I don't think I am prepared to have my life in the media again. And as for Matilda, with her being so young; it wouldn't be fair to have her in the media. But I didn't want to crush Harry's dream. Taylor was still doing amazingly well for herself and Matilda wasn't involved in the media but with Harry looking after her 80% of the time I couldn't see it staying this way.
The interview was the same as they always are, same questions. I listened intrigued by Harry's responses, but my heart broke a little when he spoke about Taylor. I knew Harry had developed real feelings for Taylor when they had been set up to date back then. And when they had their beautiful daughter who I adored so very much. But deep down I knew I wanted a child with Harry but there was never a right time back then; and looking at it now will there ever be.
"Is that daddy?" Matilda asked, looking at the tv.
"Yes sweetie" I figured it must be hard for her, her mum not being around as much as she should be and now her dad won't be around as much as he should be. who would be there to look after her? Me?

The interview lasted 40 minutes, it would take Harry an hour to get home at this time of day. The traffic in London would be very busy.
I turned the tv off and looked at Matilda, she was still in grossed in her tablet. It's amazing how much a four year old knew about technology.
"Come on, that's enough time on your tablet for now, let's go and play outside" I said to the little girl, slowly taking the tablet from her. The one thing that bought me comfort with Matilda is that she never argued back, she was a good child. A spoilt one, unfortunately but when you have two famous parents and and 4 uncles who still have a lot of money it's no wonder.

I sat on the deck chair while Matilda played in the sandpit. The sun was beaming down it was warm but it was bareable. This afternoon would be hot though. Half an hour into playing outside Harry appeared looking extremely happy.
"Hey you two" He grinned coming to sit by me on the deck chair next me. I smile back at him and lean over and give him a quick peck on the lips.
"Hey, I watched your interview you did amazing as always." I congratulate him. This makes his smile even wider.
"Louis it felt amazing to be there, like it was home. And if that felt amazing I can only imagine what it's going to feel like when I'm back on stage performing again!" The excitement made me smile, I loved it when he was happy.
"I'm sure it'll be amazing, and I know you will be amazing." As much I know that will be true in the back of my head I'm screaming to tell him how this may all be a mistake, how the fame may destroy his life, again. But for now I keep quiet and allow him to have his moment.
I cast my eye over to Matilda who's building some sandcastles, they don't turn out the way she was hoping and soon becomes uninterested and heads to the swing set and begs Harry to push her.
I'm desperate to talk to Harry if he has even thought about Matilda in his plans. Taylor had already made it very clear she was not giving up her career, she didn't want to be selfish she just wanted to make sure she could have enough money to support Matilda. It had been arranged that she would attend private school; and that wouldn't be cheap. I knew Harry wouldn't be so self-centred and I knew he would have made arrangements for care when he was away on tour but I don't think I would he comfortable leaving her with strangers. But for now I kept my mouth shut, tonight would be a better time to discuss this.

The afternoon came around pretty quickly and Matilda insisted on us having a picnic in the garden. So I prepared some jam sandwiches for her, and ham and mustard for me and Harry. A selection of biscuits and crisps and some juice.
The sun was starting to reach a high temperature by the time one o'clock hit, Harry had already lathered Matilda in sun cream and put a hat on her head. But luckily we were sat under our umbrella enjoying our picnic.
"So I was thinking how about we book a holiday this summer?" Harry suggested. His voice made me jump as we had been sat in silence for the last 40 minutes both us of us soaking up the sun and working on our tans. The idea of a holiday sounded lovely it had been a while since we had been on one.
"Yeah sounds lovely. But when you thinking cause you are going on tour" I remind him, not that he could forget that.
"Yeah my tickets go on sale next Thursday but my tour is at the end of summer. I thought I told you that?" Harry sits up looking at me. I rack my brain trying to remember a conversation about his tour but I can't remember having one. So I lie.
"Oh yeah I remember you telling me. Just forgot that's all. But yeah a holiday sounds lovely." Sun and cocktails would be perfect, a step out of reality for a week or so.
"Perfect. I know Taylor is taking some time off in the next few weeks to spend some time together, so I was thinking of inviting her, I know she would want to be there for Matilda's first time abroad." Harry states. At the mention of Taylor coming my heart sinks, and in the second I realise something I should of realised 5 years ago. Harry is never going to class me and him as a family, it's always going to be him and Taylor as a family and me just as the boyfriend. I feel hurt, and I know Harry loves me, but I get the feeling his feelings for Taylor may never disappear. And I hate myself for thinking this. Overthinking has always been my weakness.
"That sounds perfect" I lie, I don't want to cause an argument, I would only lose anyway. Harry is too smart and witty and he never looses an argument; so it's pointless.

Harry's pov
The feeling of being on cloud 9 had not stopped all day, I was still buzzing when I put Matilda to bed. I hadn't felt like this in a while, and I'm glad I had finally found the solution. But my mood quickly dropped when I walked into our bedroom to find a miserable Louis sat in bed arms crossed waiting for me. I jump at first expecting him to be downstairs like he normal is, after all I was only 7.30pm far to early for us to go to bed; and from the look on his face he isn't after 'us time'.
"What's the matter babe? Tired?" I ask, sitting myself on the end of the bed. Louis shakes his head.
"No, I just think we need to talk" my heart races at his words, he hasn't said this to me for awhile, it makes me think about our whole relationship, was it slowly falling apart?
"What about?" I ask carefully, Louis sighs.
"Look I want to be supportive of your solo career I honestly really do baby. But I'm worried about Matilda. With Taylor away as much as she is, and if you go on tour which is going to be several months long, I want to come with you but I don't think it's the type of environment for Matilda. Who's going to look after her?" I can tell my the tone in his voice, that this is really bothering. And I know what I'm about to say will probably destroy him, but I love him so much but I know what I have got planned is for the best.
I run my hands over my face, guilt overtaking me.
"I have thought about Louis, a lot actually. I have arranged for a nanny to come and look after Matilda while I'm away. She is amazing and Taylor approves" I say, I see him relax a little bit.
"Well that's good then but won't it be weird for Matilda to be with a stranger for so long?" He asks, I bit my lip.
"She won't be with a stranger, the truth is I want you to stay here and help the nanny take care of her. I think me going on tour by myself is something I need." I hate myself as soon as I say the words and I see Louis' face drop. My heart breaks. But this is how I feel and I can't change it. Before I can say anything else, Louis climbs out of bed and he's out the room, I quickly follow him but he's out the front door before I can stop him.