Moving on (sequel to I never told you)

Secrets

Louis's POV

One month had gone by and it had been fantastic. Briana and I had become closer and I had slowly become to miss Harry less and less, though he texted every day it made me difference in how I felt; maybe if he was here I would feel different. Only 30 more days and he would be home and it would be make and break for us, and I was still in two minds.

I had been undecided over the last couple weeks on whether to sit down with Briana and talk about our past, the last time it was mentioned in conversation she became very uncomfortable, which lead me to think she was hiding something. I wouldn't be seeing her today, it was a Saturday and I was off and Matilda wasn't at school today; so there was no need for her to come over today. Part of me wished she would come over just to hang out, plus I needed to re approach the subject of the abortion.
The weather wasn't the best today, we were coming into the middle of Autumn now, the leaves on the trees had changed from green to yellow, the sun had lost its warmth and just shone to give some light during the day. Halloween was in 28 days and Matilda was ecstatic, for her Halloween was just about going round to peoples houses getting sweets and it was a chance for her to wear a costume. She didn't understand it was suppose to be spooky. I had heard for the 100th time in the last 3 days what Matilda wanted to dress as for Halloween, she wanted to be a Disney character; but wasn't sure which one just yet. I had given her some ideas to be a Disney villain and in the end told her we could pop to the Disney shop and have a look at the costumes they had.
Matilda had dragged me out of bed at 7am gushing about how we needed to get ready and go to the Disney shop, even though they didn't open until 9am.
Harry texted me again this morning, saying he hoped we were both well and that he had a surprise for me when he gets back at the end of November. I furrowed my eyebrows at the text and confusion overcome me. Why did he have a surprise for me when we were not even together? It seemed so strange and I wanted to know straight away. I quickly texted him back saying we were fine and asked what this surprise was. He texted back quickly telling me that it's called a surprise for a reason and I'll have to wait to find out. I tried not to let it bother me and put it to the back of my mind.

I prepared some breakfast for myself and Matilda and allowed her to eat in in front of the tele. I sat at the kitchen island sipping my tea and scrolling through my phone, part of me kept nagging to message Briana and see how she was and if she was up to coming over. But I think better off it.
It wasn't long before we were on our way to the shopping centre to go and pick out a costume for Halloween.
The car park was fairly quiet which surprised me so I had hoped inside would be the same. Matilda hopped out the car excitedly and marched us into the shopping center, there were a few people milling around but it didn't seem busy; after all it was still early. We made our way to the Disney shop just as it was opening. It felt peaceful to be the first two people in there, I hated having crowds of people hovering around while I was trying to shop. Thankfully it didn't take Matilda too long to pick her outfit and we were on our way to a cafe to get an iced bun and a drink.

We sat at a nice table next to the window so we could watch the people scurry past. I took my phone out of my pocket and within the second had sent a message to Briana asking if she wanted to come over tonight. As soon as I had sent it I felt stupid, I knew she would read the message and wonder why I would want her to come over. A minute later my phone pinged, she had replied saying she would and that we should watch some films. I smiled at the text, the thought of doing that hadn't crossed my mind.
After we had finished in the cafe, we headed to the car and made our way home. Matilda was straight out into the garden and was playing in the sandpit. I stood in the kitchen boiling the kettle and going over in my head the best way to approach the abortion topic with Briana. I had thought about just coming right out with it but didn't want to be insensitive, it was a hard topic and I didn't want to be a jerk.

I put Matilda to bed an extra bit earlier as I prepared for Briana to come over. I had a bottle of wine chilling in the fridge and I had bought some snacks. The closer it got to 8pm the more nervous I began to get, my palms began to become sweaty and my heart was beating a little faster than usual. I paced round the kitchen trying to calm myself down, it was silly to even get into this state; but I couldn't help myself. My phone buzzed in my pocket and my heart dropped at the thought it was Briana cancelling on me. I took my phone out and saw it was a message from Harry asking if we had a had a good day. And that he loves Matilda and  me very much. My heart swelled at his message, I couldn't deny the fact that I did love him as well, I was just fed up of the hurt. But maybe I could find it in my heart to  be with Harry again; or maybe I should just move on all together. I was stuck in a fight between my heart and head.
At exactly 8pm the door knocked and I answered it rather quickly. There she stood in a lovely white summer dress, hair curled round her face and that perfect smile on her lips. She looked beautiful. Had she done all this for me?
"Hey" she breathed and stepped into the hallway, I moved out the way shutting the door behind me.
"Hey" I responded and lead her through to the kitchen. I grabbed two glasses and took the wine out of the fridge.
"Wine?" I asked holding up the bottle to show her what I had, she nodded her head and I poured her a glass and did myself one. A silent moment lingered between us and the words were on the tip of my tongue on what I wanted to say but my brain reacted with my mouth and it stayed closed.
"How has your day been?" Briana asked, I took a sip of my wine, it tasted bittersweet and I couldn't decide it I liked it or not. It seemed like decision making was such a hard task for me.
"Not too bad. Took Matilda to go and get her Halloween costume and that's about it really. Have you had a good day?"
"It's been fairly busy. Took the dogs out, went to the gym, did some shopping and cleaned my house." My eyes widened as she listed off all the things she had done today and I was surprised she was still awake to be here.
"Busy day then" I concluded, Brianna nodded her head. I wasn't very good at the small talk, I just needed to get it al of my chest.
"Briana I have something to say to you, I know this is a hard topic but we need to talk about it. When I mentioned the abortion the other day you went all weird and I'm not sure if it's because it's hard to talk about or if it's something else" the words gushed out of my mouth before I had time to second guess talking about it. I watched Briana's  face as she comprehended the words. She pursed her lips together I didn't know if I should say something else, it didn't look like she was going to.
"I have apologised for what happened it was awful and you should never have had to go through with it. If only I had been there then I could-"
" I didn't get the abortion" Briana interrupted me, I looked at her, my heart beating loudly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I have known her for a little over 3 months and she never told me that I have a child. I felt sick, why was everyone out to hurt me?
"You didn't get it?" I asked just to reconfirm what she had just said. She shook her head looking at the floor in shame. I still couldn't wrap my head round it, why didn't she say anything. My child would be 8 years old now and they have grown up thinking I don't care about them. Soul destroying.
"How could you of not told me?" I ask my voice coming out sharper than I had originally intended it to. Briana stood there looking at me her mouth opened to speak but quickly closed. She shook her head.
"It was a lot harder to get into contact with you when you joined One Direction. I did ring the number I had for you but you never replied so I just thought you had a new number" it was a petty excuse, if she really of wanted to get in touch she would of found a way. I shook my head, and laughed a little bit.
"You've kept this a secret for 8 years. Have I got a son or daughter?"
"I know I have. A son called Freddie. I wanted to tell you I really did but then I meet Brody and Freddie grew up thinking that Brody was his dad and as time went on it just became harder to tell the truth. But then I saw an AD for this job and I knew it would be a good opportunity to tell you." Briana confessed. It hurt to hear her say Brody had been my babies father but I didnt even know I had a baby, I would've been a good dad; I still can be.
"Yet you've waited nearly 3 months to tell me" I snap, I was getting angry and I think it was because I was being hurt yet again.
"I'm sorry" Briana said, her eyes had began to well up with tears and I knew that this must be just as hard for her as it was for me. I sighed running my hands over my face.
"I want to meet him" I said, Briana smiled.
"I want you to meet him too, me and Brody have already spoken about telling him the truth." I nodded at her words, the truth needed to come out. How was I suppose to tell Harry? Over text? Face to face? It was all a mess.
I didn't say anything else, I walked over to her and kissed her gently on the forehead.
"It's going to be okay" I reassured her. She looked at me and nodded. Her lips looked so soft, I bent down and gave them a quick peck. She return my kiss and it became a little harder. She pulled back a little breathless, looked at me and smiled and grabbed my head and led me up stairs to my bedroom.