Moving on (sequel to I never told you)

He's just like me

Blue eyes, blonde hair and a goofy smile. I felt like I was looking back at my eight year old self. I stood by the door observing the little boy my heart swelling with joy that he was mine. I felt nervous to approach him not knowing what to say to him. Briana stood next to me, she gave me a little nudge and nodded her head in Freddie's direction. I walked timidly into the room but still the little boy didn't make eye contact with me.
"Freddie I have someone I would like you to meet" Briana said softly to the little boy as she joined him on the sofa. I felt a lump in my throat, this feeling was surreal. I felt disappointed Harry wasn't here to hold my hand but he insisted this moment should be shared with me and Briana. Freddie looked up at me, it shocked me how alike we looked.
"This is Louis" Briana introduces me, Freddie doesn't say anything just keeps starring at me.
"Hello" I say moving closer to the little boy.
"Louis is going to be staying for tea. I know he would love to get to know you Freddie" Briana speaks.
"Why?" Freddie finally mutters, Briana looks at me a worried look on her face. I shake my head at her knowing it wouldn't be right to tell him who I am just yet.
"Because he is mummy's friend" Briana answers Freddie doesn't respond but seems like he is context with the answer. Briana stands up and nods for me to take her place on the sofa. I gentle place myself next to Freddie not really knowing what to say.
"So Freddie is there anything you enjoy doing?" I ask nervously, I felt silly seeing as he is my son I should be able to talk to him. By now his full attention is on me.
"I love playing football, I play in my school's football team" he beams with excitement as he tells me, I smile already starting to feel comfortable.
"Oh wow, I'm a fan of football, I used to play a bit when I was your age." I tell him, his face lights up in excitement at my words.
"Do you want to go and play?" He asks, he sounds so grown up it's hard to believe he's only eight. I nod my head and follow him out into the back garden.
After having a kick around for 20 minutes tea was finally ready, we took our seats at the table and while Briana dished up I tried to think of more things to talk to Freddie about.
"So do you like school?" It was the first thing that popped into my head. Freddie scrunched up his face and quickly shook his head.
"It's not my favourite place to be, I'm not smart." My heart hurt at his words, it worried me that he thought about himself like that.
"Hey! What do I keep saying to you. You are smart." Briana interrupts before I have anything to say. He looked at the table and I saw his cheeks blush.
"We all are brilliant at different things I'm sure there is something you enjoy more than anything" I speak to my son, he looked up from the table and a huge smile formed on his face.
"Football" he said, I smiled at him. Maybe in years to come he will be a professional footballer.

Dinner went really well and I felt grateful to finally have gotten the opportunity to meet my son. I had never known love like it and I had only known him for 4 hours by the time I left. My anger, hurt and betrayal for Briana had subsided and in its place joy and accomplishment had taken its place when I looked at the little boy we had created and what an fantastic job she had done to raise him, even if I had missed eight years. I made the promise to see him on Saturday and take him for a kick around in the park. I already couldn't wait.
The walk home was peaceful and something finally felt filled in my life, like I finally had something that had been missing.

I walked through the front door hearing the tv coming from the living room and I heard Harry's voice. Was somewhere here? Dread set in as I only could imagine what I may be walking into, my heart couldn't take this again. I crept towards the living room and let out of a sigh of relief when I saw Harry and Matilda sat on the sofa watching a film just the two of them.
"Hello" I greeted and took a seat next to them, Harry smiled at me pausing the film.
"Hey, how was it?" Harry asked, I smiled so hard my cheeks began to hurt. I couldn't even explain how I felt or how it went.
"It went better than expected, though we didn't tell him who I really was but I'm sure we will soon. But even without him knowing who I was, we got on very well. I'm actually taking him out on Saturday. I was thinking maybe you and Matilda could come?" I asked the question, I wanted Harry to feel involved in the situation as much as he involved me with Matilda. Harry smiled and reached out and grabbed my hand.
"We would love to come" I relaxed at his words and I couldn't wait until we were all finally a family.
"Thank you" I spoke. Matilda had fallen asleep on the couch between us, we chucked at her and I picked her up in my arms and took her to bed. Harry followed claiming he was tired, I nodded and agreed we could do with an early night.
"So I was thinking maybe tomorrow we could start on the wedding plans. Maybe look at setting a date and start other arrangements" Harry suggested as we climbed into bed. Planning our wedding hadn't even came across my mind and I felt guilty that I had pushed it out of my thoughts. I didn't tell Harry this.
"Sounds perfect. It'll be nice to finally get the ball rolling on it. Question though. Who will take who's last name?" This had been something that I had been worried about would I take Harry's or will he take mine? I looked at Harry and he had a pondering look on his face.
"Either or is fine for me. If you want to take my last name then brilliant and if you want me to take your last name again brilliant." I nodded at his words, understanding where he was coming from.
We cuddled up in bed, I felt content and that my life was finally coming together after years of feeling like an outsider.