Moving on (sequel to I never told you)

Time heals us

Louis' POV
Harry had been gone two weeks now, even though I had made the decision to not work things out with Harry, it still pained me to see him leave for tour; but hopefully now he was out of sight moving on would be easier.
Since he had left I had moved myself back into the main bedroom, sleeping in the office was very uncomfortable. The sheets had smelt like Harry and no matter how many times I washed them I couldn't wash away his smell, so I went out and bought new bedding.
I hadn't long been awake when my phone buzzed, I glanced at it seeing Harry's name pop up on the screen.
Morning hope both you and Matilda are okay, have a nice day.
It was the same text he sent everyday, I didn't answer straight away instead I got out of bed and made my way down stairs to the kitchen to prep breakfast. Briana would be here soon to spend the day with me and Matilda like she had been doing the past two weeks. It had been amazing to have her round, it made me realise how much I enjoyed her company and it brought back many memories.
8 o'clock on the dot there was a knock at the front door, I quickly hurried to open it. Briana smiled when I opened the door, her smile was warm and friendly.
"Good morning" she beamed making her way into the hall.
"Good morning love, how are you today?" I asked following her as she made her way into the kitchen.
"I'm good, yourself? Is Matilda nearly ready we need to be leaving for school soon." Briana questioned, taking out some lunch meat and making some sandwiches for Matilda's packed lunch. I nod my head shouting up the stairs for Matilda to come down and put her school shoes on.
"Have you got much planned today?" Briana asked me, I look at my calendar on my phone seeing if I had anything scheduled. I had been working along side a production company in making a movie. Today was my day off.
"No nothing today but back to back meetings tomorrow" I say grabbing Matilda's coat of the coat hook and helping the little girl put it on.
"Fancy doing the school walk with me then?" Briana asked, I smiled at the suggestion it seemed like a good thing to do.
"Yeah, wanna grab a coffee on the way back?" I hold my breath while I wait for an answer. I knew Briana didn't have much to do during the 6 hours Matilda was at school, normally if I was at work Briana would do the house work or go food shopping. But even though it had been made aware to her that on my days off she could have the day off she still showed up. I was thankful she did it just meant I got to see her more.
The sun had started to gain some heat and the walk to Matilda's school was pleasant, she walked ahead of us and Briana and I walked side by side almost in silence. It felt nice to be doing this, it felt like I had my own little family. It made me wonder what would my life be like now if I hadn't of gone to the X factor if I had been there for Briana instead. Would we have our baby now? I wouldn't even of met Harry, maybe that would've been the best outcome. Would've saved a lot of heartbreak.
We finally reached the school, it was busy with lots of children hugging and kissing their parents goodbye and running into the playground. I hugged Matilda goodbye and we both watched as she went and joined her friends. It felt good to be living my life normally right now, I didn't feel like Louis who had been in one direction, I felt like Louis who was living his life like any other person who was stood around me. It made me really start to think did I want to continue to have my life in the media, it was being with Harry that was the main reason I still was.
Even though I had made the decision to take a break on my relationship with Harry I couldn't help but miss him. Moving on from a 5 year relationship wasn't going to be easy and truth be told I wasn't entirely sure that was what I wanted. I definitely knew I needed my space and time away from him, but my heart still gave me hope that there was still light at the end of this dark tunnel for us; I just had to allow us to make it out of it.

Briana and I headed into town after dropping Matilda off to go and grab a coffee, Starbucks was the favorite choice and we both used to come here a lot back when we were dating. It was nice and quiet when we arrived about 5 people were sat inside drinking their coffee. Briana chose a table by the window claiming she liked to watch people walk by, I didn't say anything and sat down opposite her. I felt nervous and I didn't know why, I had gotten used to her presence again over the last two weeks but still hadn't completely got my head around it. We ordered two coffees and a sticky bun each when the waiter came to take our order, the fresh smell of baked cakes made my stomach rumble and I couldn't resist not having one.
"So how is the movie coming along?" Briana asked breaking the silence that lingered between us while we waited for our order to come.
"Well we are on schedule, we have filmed at least half. We are just in the process of getting a few locations lined up for some scenes we just need to have permission and make sure the cast involved in them scenes are happy to go to the location." I answered, I was beyond excited about this project. I had never been interested in the film making industry before but when my friend offered me a part time contract for a decent price I couldn't turn it down; and it was a distraction away from Harry. Briana smiled at me, her smile lit up the whole room and it made my heart beat faster in my chest just looking at her. I looked at her admiring her beauty, she had always been beautiful even back then she was a sight for sore eyes; and over time she had gotten even more attractive. Her beautiful blonde hair was pinned back behind her ears making her eyes pop out more and her lips looked so kissable. I knew I was approaching dangerous territory by even just having these thoughts; but I couldn't stop myself from thinking them.
"Ah I'm so glad that everything has and is coming together for you Louis, I really am. And I just want you to know everything that happened between us before us forgiven." Her words were sincere and my heart relaxed at her words, I had so badly wanted to forget about that time in my life and I had hoped so bad she would want to as well and hearing she was prepared to forgive me made me happy. I was a jerk back that and I had lived every day since then regretting my decision, if only I had been able to do both; go on the X factor and be there for her things maybe a whole lot different now.
"Thank you. That means a lot, I know I was such a jerk to you. And believe me I do regret it. I really do wish I had of been there for you. Maybe if I had abortion wouldn't of even been an option maybe we could've had a little baby and a little family of our own." I spoke softly reaching out and grabbing her hand and gently running my thumb over her fingers in a manner of comfort, not affection. Briana looked at me, her eyes wide and her lips parted slightly. She seemed to be uncomfortable with the mention of the abortion and our own little family and I suddenly felt so insensitive, I was quick to apologize.
"Oh Briana I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring up the abortion I know it's probably still hard on you. I didn't mean any harm in mentioning it."
She shook her head and looked at me.
"No it's not that it's just-" she trailed off and looked at her half drunk coffee in front of her, she was hiding something I could tell by the look on her face. My heart started beating rapidly in my chest and my mouth had gone all dry.
"What is it?" I asked nervously wiping my hands on my jeans to get rid of some sweat that  coated them. She didn't say anything for a minute or so and the silence was killing me.
She looked at me and quickly smiled.
"It's nothing, don't worry." Was all she said and carried on drinking her coffee. It was definitely something and I intended to find out but not today I didn't want to push the subject further and push her further away from me so I dropped it and we carried on talking as normal.
It was lovely to hear all about her life in America and her becoming a stylist, I was proud she had made something of herself. I didn't find it too assuming listening to her talk about her relationship with Brody Jenner but enjoyed getting the downlow on the Kardashian family.
"It took a few years to get over you Louis, I'm not going to lie. Seeing you on every magazine, in every new article all over social media. We were in two different parts of the country and I still couldn't get rid off you" there was a playful tone to her voice but I knew she was serious, I couldn't imagine who she felt back then but sitting here now going through something somewhat similar I now knew exactly how she felt. I bowed my head in sorrow, I hated how I had made her feel, it wasn't the kind of person I was; deep down I kind of hoped in years to come Harry would be feeling like I was now. Finally realizing the pain and hurt he caused me, and hopefully by then I will be with someone who appreciates me.
"I am sorry about everything, all I can ask now is we put all of that behind us and we try and build a friendship between us. I have missed you" I admit, I had every day for the past five years I had always wondered what she was doing and where she was. Briana nodded before head, then suggested we headed home for a peaceful afternoon.

Harry's POV

No calls and no texts yet again it had been two weeks and I had hardly heard from Louis only a short reply to tell me Matilda was doing fine. I hated it, absolutely hated it. But I couldn't change it, the damage had been done, I had caused it and now I was left to sit in the mess I had made and deal with it. I thought being in tour would make things easier being away from Louis and not seeing him would be easier to get him off my mind, but if anything it made me think about him even more. Every night on stage I pictured I could see him in the crowd being my number one supporter, but dreaming he was there and him actually being there were two different things and it didn't make me feel any better. Going back alone to the hotel room at night was lonely, I hated it, hated falling asleep on my own, no one to talk to and no one to cuddle. I had spent the last two weeks dreaming about Louis, mostly my dreams were lovely it was us being one big happy family. And other nights my dreams were nightmares where I got back from tour and Louis was gone and I was alone. I hated those dreams they made me cry and I was scared at the thought of it coming true, I didn't want to loose him, I couldn't bare to live without him. Though I knew if that would be the outcome I deserved it, I wasn't the best boyfriend he could have, there were others who deserved him. All I wanted was to have a text or a phone call conversation with him but every time I picked up the phone to call him I changed my mind, space is what he wanted and I had no choice but the give it to him, regardless of the fact I was on tour.
The two weeks had dragged and I knew for a fact the rest of the tour would to. I just wanted to be home, I needed to know if I still had a home to go to, the house would still be mine but if Louis wasn't living in it with me it wasn't home. I needed to find a way to prove to Louis that I did in fact love him and only him. I had already lessen my contact with Taylor but even I knew that wasn't enough it needed to be something big and grand. The idea of us joining in civil partnership crossed my mind and I began to get excited at that idea. The idea of Louis being my husband was what dreams were made of. As a lot of thinking and research on where we could 'get married' I finally decided it was what I wanted, I wanted him for the rest of my life; if he would take me. I hoped that he wasn't going to call it quits after these months away I really hoped that time was all he needed and that he missed me just as much as I missed him.
I lay in bed thinking about the last five years and what a whirlwind it had been. One direction certainly was something that I was proud to be apart of and had so many memories but tonight I was fixated on my mistakes, and believe me there were a few. Taylor, Kendall, wanting to keep me and Louis a secret from our fans. Getting Taylor pregnant. Causing Louis to hurt himself. Thinking off all this made me feel sick to the stomach, why had Louis even stuck around this long, why did he see me worth the hassle? I had convinced myself so much back then that I wasn't gay and I liked girls, and Louis made me see who I really was. He was the reason I allowed myself to be who I am, and it made me thankful to him. I loved him so much, even if I didn't always show it. And I would be dammed if someone else would be getting that love of Louis. He's mine and always will be. No more mistakes, no more hurting him. This time apart will hopefully heal him and then I would make him my husband and make this love between us un breakable. I should've done it sooner, but now seemed like the perfect time. I couldn't wait for this tour to be over so I could go and get my man.
12 more weeks and I would be home. Where I belonged and with who I belonged with.