Yoongi's Love

Chapter 44

~Seyeon~

It was three days after we came back from the hospital that I finally decided that it's time to talk to Yoongi about my past. It took a while, yes, I know but I've decided to just force myself to tell him. I could only pray that he'll still love me regardless of the bad things I've done.

Yoongi propped himself up on his elbow, looking at me as I laid still on the bed. 

"So?" he prompted. "You said it was am emergency and called me here. What's wrong?"

I inhaled and then let out a sigh before turning my head to face Yoongi.

"You mentioned feeling hurt because I didn't confide to you about my past," I said quietly, "For that, I'm sorry."

"We've passed this already," Yoongi muttered, holding my hands with his before lacing our fingers. "It's okay now."

I shook my head, "You need to understand this, Yoongi. It's true that I never wanted to tell you about my past and that I'd rather take it with me to the grave."

He stiffened.

I hurried on, "But that's not because I don't trust you or because I'm afraid of what you'll think of me."

Yoongi let out a soft sigh, "What?"

"It's mainly because I'm embarrassed and still hurt by it," I told him, squeezing his hands, "but most importantly, it's because you make me forget my past, Yoongi. Being with you makes me happier than ever. I really do forget about the hurt I've felt back then because I know you're here with me."

Yoongi's eyes warmed.

"I don't want to dwell on the past," I said, "And I don't want you to get tangled in that mess too. I'm working around it. It still hurts from time to time when I get flashes here and there but I promise that I'm really okay now. All I want and need is just you by my side. I didn't talk about it with you because I want to forget it."

He waited for me to continue.

I sighed and turned my attention towards the ceiling. "My parents died when I was young. I was adopted right after that incident and barely had time to recover, you know. I met Seolhee there." I hesitated at the mention of her name. "She was the sister I needed. She held me, cried with me and she was there for me. I came to rely on her and really love her too."

"Things started changing at that house," I mumbled. "After her parents had more kids, they disregarded me like I was trash. They treated me badly – like I wasn't even a person. Not just me, but Seolhee too. I wanted to stay strong for Seolhee so I kept quiet and just took all of their insults because I knew I still have her on my side."

I laughed at how naïve I'd been.

"One day I woke up and Seolhee was gone. She packed all of her stuff and ran away," I glanced at Yoongi, tears in my eyes. "She didn't ask me to go with her. She just—left. I stayed in that hell house because I didn't want to leave her but she just grabbed her stuff and left me there."

I remember feel so betrayed and broken at that. I was a naïve sixteen year old after all. Being five years older than me, it meant that Seolhee was able to escape because she was an adult. That's what she did. Escaped.

"I was sixteen," I murmured. "Shortly after she left, I waited for a few months before running away too. I—had to do things to make money."

I glanced down at my hands. "Just—some bad things."

Yoongi reached out and poked my cheek.

I glanced at him and saw the love and understanding in his eyes.