Why Does it Matter?

Chapter 30: Chemistry

"Totoo ba ang allegation na you're quitting volleyball for real?" Tanong ng isang media personnel sa harap ko. I try to take a deep breath ago tuluyang tignan siya ng diretso.

The whole room is pack with people connected to sports, some analyst, reporters, the sponsors and such. Lahat sila nag-aabang. Lahat sila gustong malaman ang totoo. Well this will be my last press conference as a volleyball player so might as well make it a good one.

"Yes. I'm leaving volleyball for real." I said at ang ingay sa buong hall ang namayani matapos kong sabihin iyon. The whole national team are here too, ready to send me off dahil katatapos lang ng championship and to our luck and perseverance, we had claimed the title once again.

"What are your reasons behind this sudden leave? Hindi ba nabibigla ka lang?" I want to raise an eye brow on what the reporter had blurted out. Si coach sa gilid ay parang hindi pa natuwa sa sinabi niya.

No... this leave has been long over-due. This whole journey had brought me happiness but it's not complete.

"It's been a long and wonderful journey to be in my field, to part of this team. I want to say thank you to the league, sponsors, my teammates who put their faith in me and to our coach who supported me in this decision. Thank you for sharing this journey with me, it's been a blast to be part of it and I might never forget it." I said and directed my gaze on the people behind my success. Some of my teammates, Kim who's teary-eyes already, Mina and her poker face and with Dwayne who's crying already. I try to smile at them before continuing.

"Three years ago when I suffer from that major injury, big bone bruise, Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL), medial meniscus and some finger dislocation, I thought I may never go back inside the court again or I will never gain my old form back. It's a rough and dark time for me. I actually had a plan back then to leave volleyball. Not because of the severe injury but because of this girl..." Natahimik ang buong hall dahil sa sinabi ko. My eyes have now found the eyes that are my replicas.

I never seen her cry, not when my father left us, not when I left home or my brother said she couldn't take her anymore... this is the first time I saw my mother cry, silently while looking at me. Hindi ko man mapigilan ang sarili alam ko I know I'm on the verge of tearing up too because of her face. My mother is the strongest and evilest woman I know, because her experiences has shaped her that way. That's why I didn't hate her for being the toughest one when it comes to me. Siya 'rin naman ang dahilan kung bakit malakas ako ngayon.

"I want to settle down with her, be with her ng hindi nakakasagabal ang volleyball. Because I cannot choose between volleyball and her, I decided to let go of the first one. Kesa siya ang mawala, and even though I still want to play back then." I stop when a tear fell on my eyes. Bumalik sa aking ala-ala ang mukha niya ng araw na iyon. Her eyes are crying not because of pain but because we finally did something that can compromise the both of us even if it means we'll have to take separate paths after that.

Her pitch black eyes and her adorable face, pointy nose and pouty lips. Her beautiful face has been my inspiration until I decided that I don't want volleyball anymore, I want her more now...

"And her decision has brought me to where I am now, another back-to-back championship with my team and success for me. But I guess I will never find the peace that I'm looking for in this life without her presence by my side. If I'll live by the simple contentment that I want, it is to live by her despite everything that I'll lose." I bite my lips at pinigilan ang pagsinghap ko. I look at the paper in front of me, it contains a speech actually. Pero hindi ko na iyon nasunod.

"She told me to play 'till I don't want it anymore, continue to reach my dreams 'till I realize that I've absolutely done it. I'm still in love with volleyball but I'm ready now to leave it behind for a future with that girl. The woman who taught me hard over the years, sacrificed everything in my name and the only savior I have in this lifetime. I already chase my dreams as she said, now I'm chasing her for real." Ang maikling tili ni Dwayne na agad tinakpan ni Kim ang bibig ang unang reaksyon matapos ko iyong sabihin. I look at them and smile as they show me their support on this decision of mine.