Before You Go

7

Francis' Point of View
I can't sleep, I tossed and turned, threw blankets on and off but nothing worked. There was a knock on my door. I put some pants on, I was only in boxers. I went to the door and opened it up. "Hello." Olivia said "What are you doing here?" I asked "I figured I'd come surprise you, we haven't been together in nearly two weeks." She said "Olivia, I don't want to." I said "Why?" She asked "I just haven't been in the mood." I said "Francis did I do something?" She asked "No, no you didn't. I just don't want to talk about it." I said "Is it her?" She asked "Olivia, just because I don't want to have sex with you doesn't mean I'm in love with Mary." I said "Should I even try anymore?" She asked "Olivia, I'm sorry, I don't want anyone romantic in my life right now. You are a dear friend to me but I think we are better as that, as friends." I said "Okay." She said, she disappeared down the hall. "I'm going for a walk, don't follow me." I said to my guards while I put a shirt on. I went towards the gardens, I like to go to the pond when I'm stressed. There is a gazebo out there I like to sit by. I saw someone standing in the gazebo. I walked in. "Hello?" I said, she turned around and it was Mary. She was crying. "Are you okay?" I asked "Yes, I'm fine." She smiled, quickly wiping her tears. "No you're not, what's going on?" I asked "Today would have been my Father's birthday." She said, letting a tear slip. "Mary I'm so sorry." I said "I feel so alone." She said "Mary don't say that, you are not alone." I hugged her. She laid her head on my shoulder. I rubbed her arm up and down, she sat up. "I'm sorry, I don't want to be a bother, thank you for your help." She said. "No no no, sit down. Let me help, please." I said, she sat back down. "I'm sorry I just get emotional, it's been years. But it is still an open wound." She said "Mary don't apologize, you don't have to explain your grief to anyone." I said "Can you just tell me something to get my mind off this?" She asked "I think I have something that might make you happy, or make you think more of me." I said "Tell me." She said "I ended things with Olivia, I told her I needed to be alone for now." I said "Francis, I think you are a good man, you don't have anything to prove to me." She said "You make me want to be a better person." I said "I do?" She smiled "Yes, you do." I smiled "Whats your biggest fear?" She asked "Why?" I asked "If we are going to be married then you're going to have to tell me about your secrets." She smiled "I think my biggest fear is not being able to be the man everyone wants me to be." I said "What do you mean?" She asked "I don't think I live up to anyone's expectations, not my parents, the nobles, or you." I said "You shouldn't be controlled by others opinions." She said "I know I shouldn't but I still am." I said "I'm terrified I won't be able to have a baby." She said "Why? I'm sure you can provide heirs." I said "No, it's not because I want to be able to provide heirs it's because I want to be a mother." She said "Oh, I'm sorry." I said "I enjoy talking to you, I feel like I can tell you anything." She said "Same here, and you can tell me anything." I said, she smiled. I looked at her, she's just so beautiful. "What is it?" She smiled, blushing. "Am I not allowed to look at you?" I smiled "No, so tell me why you are." She laughed "You look pretty in the moon light." I said "Oh stop." She smiled, looking at her lap. "Mary you are gorgeous, don't deny it." I said "Well thank you." She said "And by the way, you'll make an amazing mother." I said "Why do you think that?" She asked "You are kind, intelligent, joyful, caring, patient, and pretty much any other positive describing word." I said "Thank you." She smiled, she looked into my eyes. I moved my hand and cupped her face in it. I leaned in and kissed her, her lips are so soft. She kissed me back and I pulled her in closer. I pulled away. "I'm sorry, I can't." I said "What's wrong? Did I do something?" She asked "No Mary you were great, I promise. I just can't do this to you." I said, she stood up. "Okay well I'm going to go to bed." She said, walking away. "Mary, please I'm sorry." I said "Francis, goodnight." She said. Damn it. I didn't want to lead her on. I wanted to kiss her, not because she is a beautiful woman but because she's Mary. She's smart and clever and kind and every good thing you can me. Fuck what am I gonna do.