BROKEN VOWS

Chapter Sixteen. It takes courage. Part 1

Rainbow's POV.
As i rounded the corner to my car park, I can't help but keep my eyes on Hunter. His pacing is getting more intense every passing seconds, he looks tired and worn out. Was he awake all night thinking too? I mean we could be thinking about different things of course but i can't help but feel a little bit of relief that I'm not the only one freaking out.

But as stopped in front of his house close to where he's pacing. All the relief i felt earlier disappeared the moment i glanced at his face. He looks terrible!

"Hey there stranger! Are you okay? you don't look so good. I say as he opens the passenger door and climbs onto the car before sighing deeply and says.

"Hey! good morning, I feel exactly how i look. He groans while rubbing his face.

"You didn't sleep at all, did you? I asks him. thinking i already know the answer, and he proves me right by shaking his head with his hand still rubbing his face.

I don't want to believe it but the tiny voice at the back of my mind, saying Hunter is having second thoughts about this trip won't quit. He's not regretting his decision, is he? because this is kind of a big deal, this is the first time he's visiting his sister's grave.

With him being in jail when everything happened. Poor guy wasn't even allowed to pay his last respect to his only sister and best friend,(Sighs) cruel world indeed.

"If you're worried about this whole thing, i suggest you shouldn't. Because you're doing the right thing." I tell him, trying to make him feel better. But he shakes his head while saying.

"How can i not worry? How should i go to her grave to pay my respect as if she died happily Bow?
I left her all alone when she needed me most! You didn't see her face when she was begging me not to leave her. You weren't there! I left her. Gosh! I'm such a coward." He says with so much anguish, while using his hands to cover his face.

"Hey!
Don't you dare call yourself a coward! You don't get to put yourself down like this. You made a mistake!
You you've paid for it. And still killing yourself because of it every waking moment of your life. But you're not responsible for your sister's death!
I know you're hurting. And you feel responsible somehow, but you should know you're sister wouldn't want you to think like that! I didn't mean to shout every thing out like that but it pains me that he's tormenting himself for what that bastard did. My heart breaks just seeing him like this.

He's just looking at me wide eyed as if he couldn't believe i said all that. Heck! I still can't believe i said all those things!
I smile with relief when i glance at him and he's smiling too.

"Thanks! I needed that." He says still smiling.

"Always! now input the direction and take a nap, you need it." I say with my smile mirroring his. He does as he's told before smiling at me gratefully while laying back on the car sit with his eyes closed and sighs peacefully.

Three hours later, I'm driving into St.Patrick Memorial Cemetery in Greenwood town. Hunter's birth place and he's still sound asleep unaware of his current location. He looks so peaceful sleeping that i feel bad about waking him up. But he needs this now more than ever, at least now he will get some closure.

Reaching out to him, i gently tap his shoulder while calling his name. He blinks at first, before mumbling something while opening his eyes.

"Rainbow? are we there yet?." He asks as he looks around trying to take in his surroundings. His expression changes the moment he realized we're indeed at the cemetery.

"Yes! we're here." I tell him, even though he already knows what. He swallows hard and nods before reaching out to open the car door shakily while stepping out.

I step out of the car too while keeping my eyes on Hunter, he glances at me and nods while walking towards the direction I'm guessing has his sister's grave. This place looks familiar for some reason but i remember why.

He's walking towards the far end of the cemetery. I was trying to give him space at first because this looks like something he needs to do alone. But i almost crashed into him before stepping back quickly! shit! This is not the right place or time to get lost in your thought Rainbow! I scold myself.

He kneels on a grave with the words,
"In Loving memory of Kayla R. Riggs. Loving Daughter, Sister&Friend"
written on it.

There's no doubt, that's his sister's grave as takes out a single white rose from his coat and places it on the spot that was previously occupied by two dead ones. I'm guessing his parents last visit? I'm brought out of my thoughts as he starts speaking.

"Hey sis! Sorry I'm late. I've spent every waking moment of last five years thinking of what I'll say when i visit. But I'm here now and i can only think of things you used to say. And all that you would do. Every single day at some point, my thoughts turns to you and i remember all the things you taught me.'' He paused while taking a deep breath and wiping tear drops before continuing.

''You taught me how to love unconditionally, you taught me how to express emotions and cry when i held you for the first time, you taught me how to have fun and laugh, you taught me how to live life to the fullest. But the one thing you never taught me was how to cope without you in my life. You left and you forgot to tell my heart how to go on with you sis!...I miss you so much!'' He breaks down after that and starts crying uncontrollably.

I didn't know what to do, so i just start rubbing circles on his back gently without saying anything. I can't tell him he shouldn't cry or that everything is will be okay? Its okay for him to cry. And that's exactly what I'm gonna let him do. He has carried this burden of guilt for five years, he needs to let it all out.

Was he even allowed to grief in prison? Why do bad things happen to good people i wonder? No one really tells you there's gonna be a chapter in your life that will force you to cry. But when it does, which it will. It's okay to cry, because it takes courage to walk through hell with all its obstacles and still triumph. Hunter didn't deserve any of those thing that happened to him, no one does.

Instead of parents telling their kids things like 'Yes you will experience hurt in life' I think they should say things like this instead.

'But you will also experience the deepest of joys. You will experience the births and deaths of the greatest of loves.The sun warming the blood under your skin after the coldest of winters. And the rain against your window will sing you to a peaceful sleep. And you will awaken some mornings in the hands of someone who will love you most of all. There will be moments when your soul will gleam so beautifully, even the universe will bask in your happiness. And some moments when you will feel like death is the only option. Yes! You will suffer! But you will be happy beyond your wildest dreams after you overcome it. And that will make every second of the suffering worth it' they should really start saying this. Because it is that balance that makes us beautifully and softly human.

                  To be continued...