LOVE SONG! [YiZhan FF]✔️

-5- Speechless reunion

-5- Speechless reunion

It's been a few days since I last saw Xiao Zhan and I'm a little scared about tonight. Because we have another gig at P18 and I think that's where I will see Zhan again. Unfortunately, I still haven't figured out how I'm going to be able to talk to him. Because just thinking about it takes my breath away.

My brother said I should maybe drink a beer or two and then try it. Alcohol is known to loosen tongues, but I know myself very well and know that I do not tolerate alcohol very well and would probably fall asleep drunk after just one beer. I've never had a high alcohol tolerance and that doesn't change just because I really want to be able to know Xiao Zhan.

Meanwhile, Seungyoun also realized that I have fallen in love with someone. He just doesn't know who and I also don't think it's a good idea to tell him that. Sadly, I know him only too well and know that he would probably put me into many embarrassing situations if he knew for whom my heart beats faster.

Even back in school, when he thought I had fallen in love with a schoolmate, even though I only liked her because she was very nice, he decided to help me. He wrote her a love letter in my name and this letter had, besides a lot of typos, a wording I am still ashamed of today.

At that time this girl came running to me with the letter, clapped it in my face and told me: "Stay away from me. You're out of your mind." Then she ran away. Seungyoun wanted to try to fix it and found the next thing he could do to embarrass me. He sent her chocolates for elderly women filled with brandy in my name and on a card he wrote: "Enjoy them and contact me later."

When she threw them at my feet, I stared at her in confusion and she screamed, "You're a total psychopath, leave me alone!" I've never seen Seungyoun run so fast.

His last attempt to "help" me failed as well. He sent her a bouquet of white flowers with a ribbon wrapped around it. A black mourning ribbon! I then had to go to the principal and explain to him why I was stalking my classmate and even sent her funeral flowers. Even my parents had to come and I was in need of an explanation. And no matter how much I affirmed that none of this came from me, nobody believed me. I was suspended from school for two weeks, and from then on, I was considered a psycho.

Maybe this fits into my current problem of not being able to talk to Zhan. Like post-traumatic stress syndrome, maybe. My brother said that it was quite possible and that I should perhaps talk to our colleague, a psychiatrist, about it.

Well, at least he thinks that everything is blocked inside of me because of my experiences as a teenager. And I didn't even want anything from this girl. In the end, it was Seungyoun's fault and that's why I can't let him know who I fell in love with. Who knows what he'll do then?

In the late afternoon we met in our rehearsal room, which actually once was a garage. But Wooseok has converted his garage into a rehearsal room so we have a permanent place to practice.

We went over our songs for the evening again. We played some songs that were even newer and talked about the order of the songs when Seungyoun asked from one moment to the next: "So who did you fall in love with? Maybe I can help you!"

I almost broke out in a sweat just thinking about what his help might be. I laughed and said: "I don't know, I don't know that person. I've only seen the person from a distance now and then."

But when I think about the upcoming gig tonight and the fact that Zhan might be standing behind the bar again watching me, I feel completely uncomfortable. For one thing, I look forward to seeing him again. And for another, I'm afraid that my voice will fail and I won't even be able to sing.

As we sat in the back room of the P18 and waited for our gig to start, I tuned my guitar for the fifth time that evening and was strangely looked at by the others. They know me well and knew immediately that something was going through my head. To keep them from asking me any questions, I told them that I couldn't get a patient in the clinic out of my head. Afterwards they saved the questions and I had got away again. I just wonder how much longer this will go on?

Our gig was coming up, we entered the stage and I was leading our band with confidence. I managed to fade out everything else and concentrate only on our music. Even when I saw Zhan standing behind the bar smiling and clapping, I could sing my songs without any problems. And I sang them especially well and especially loud so that Zhan could hear them well.

After two hours our gig was over, we thanked our fans and bowed again before we went back to our back room. And it didn't take ten minutes when Zhan knocked on the door like last time and brought us drinks.

And I thought, if I manage to sing for Zhan, then I will be able to finally talk to him. But when he stood in front of me and said: "Your voice is really awesome. Your performance was so amazing." I just stood there, and again I couldn't get a word out. I smiled, nodded, and then sat down on the chair, angry at myself.

Once again it was a speechless reunion and I could have screamed in rage. Why can't I even manage to say a simple hello or thank you to Zhan? Why could I just stare at him and not get a word out?

Zhan looked at me confused and tried to smile anyway. I hope he doesn't think I want nothing to do with him. He put the drinks on the small round table and left the back room immediately afterwards. I had been in a mood to cry.

The others looked at me questioningly and Wooseok wanted to know from me why I didn't even say thank you. I didn't know how to explain this without revealing myself, so I kept silent and tried to pretend that I was just knocked out and wanted to rest for a moment.

If this goes on like this, I'm going to go crazy. I want to finally be able to talk to Xiao Zhan! I want to get to know him better and invite him on a date. Well, I'd have to find out first if he's interested in men.

And since my father's mission to recruit Dr. Xiao Zhan for our clinic is coming back to my mind, I thought. If I can't talk, maybe I can write. So I got a piece of paper and a pencil, and I wrote a note to Zhan.

"Hey, I'm sorry about before. I was still wiped out. I' m sorry. And thank you for complimenting me on my voice and our performance. Have you thought about coming to work at our clinic? My father would still like you there. Wang Yibo." I folded the paper and left the small back room.

I went to the bar and saw Xiao Zhan standing there, talking to the manager. When Zhan looked over at me, I waved the paper and he came over. He took the note, read it and then called out to me, "I'm still thinking. I'll contact the hospital next week." I pointed my thumb up and then I walked back into the back room with a big grin on my face.

I sat there and grinned and was glad Xiao Zhan wasn't angry with me. And besides, I had obviously found a way to communicate. I can write to him!