LOVE SONG! [YiZhan FF]✔️

-15- Silence

-15- Silence

Unfortunately, Zhan wasn't more forgiving later either and avoided me. On top of that I had crazy headaches, which also annoyed me. I wrote Zhan on a piece of paper that I intended to show the young woman her limits when he interfered. Zhan wrote on the paper, "And before that, you just waited in silence."

This writing got on my nerves so much, I wanted to explain all this to Zhan in my own words and apologize for not rejecting her earlier. But my fucking blockage made it very difficult for me right now. Which made me even more frustrated and pulled me down. And I also realized that the more I tried to reconcile with Zhan and explain myself, the worse I made it.

So I let it go for now and tried to let Zhan cool down. For me, it meant he didn't talk to me on Sunday or the following three days. He didn't sleep next to me, he didn't let me touch him or kiss him. Nothing, just silence.

On Thursday morning Zhan got a phone call, we were just having breakfast, in silence. Apparently an emergency patient was brought into the clinic. A 10-year-old boy with a brain tumor. I drove Zhan to the clinic as fast as I could because apparently the young boy's life was hanging on a silken thread.

At the clinic, he called in two assistants and immediately started the operation. We stood upstairs in a separate room and watched him. When one of the assistants should help him, Zhan noticed his trembling hands. He yelled out loud, "Stop, all hands up and away from the patient. If you don't have steady hands or you're scared, get out." Then he looked up at the room and shouted, "Yibo, get down here!"

I rushed downstairs immediately, prepared myself and entered the operating room. The boy who had to stay awake during the operation looked at me. I could see his fear at once. I sat down beside him, took his hand and sang softly for him. Zhan smiled and nodded at me. In the meantime we understood each other even without words. Although we didn't talk to each other for the last few days.

Zhan explained every single step and in such a way that the boy could understand him. Then Zhan told me that I had to help him for a moment. A nurse took the boy's hand, I stood next to Zhan and he put the scalpel in my hand. Then he showed and explained to me where to cut, while he cut on the other side.

Carefully and with steady hands I did what Zhan told me and I did my job well. Even though it was the first time I had done it. Although I also assisted in operations during my studies, I rarely did it, and when I did, I never held a scalpel in my hand. I felt great when the kid suddenly whispered, "My eyes don't hurt anymore."

Then Zhan pointed to the tumor and ordered me to remove it. He put his hands on mine and together we removed the tumor. We did the same on the other side, because the boy was unlucky to have two tumors at the same time. But not anymore. Because they are completely removed and the boy will recover quickly and be able to lead a normal life. As long as he does not fall ill again.

That day, I smiled incessantly. I was proud of myself and I was grateful to Zhan for letting me do this. I have never felt so great as I did at that moment. And I owed that to Zhan.

Later, my father came to me in my consulting room and told me it would have been great to see Zhan and me together in the operating room. And I told him how I felt about it and especially how I felt afterwards. And then I told him about the fight with Zhan. My father said, "You've always been very shy and reserved with women, you should explain that to Zhan. Then he'll know why you didn't keep quiet on purpose."

It's true, since the incident with that girl back then, my shyness towards women had become worse. After that, I avoided talking to them if possible. I never really knew how to act towards them.

Then I told my father about the love song and that I just didn't get ahead with it. "Well, son, I think you should just write what's on your mind. What you wanted to say to him from the start but couldn't. And just tell him how you feel about him."

Well, I've gotten that far. When there was a knock at the door and Zhan stuck his head through it, he said, "The boy is awake and wants to see you. And, he asks if he can buy an album from you. " I only had one album left, I wanted to give it to my brother, but in this case, I'm making an exception.

I took the album and went with Zhan to the young patient, my father followed us in silence. The boy immediately beamed when he saw me. Since he still had some problems with speaking, he hummed me the song I had sung for him and then asked me stutteringly if he could buy this song. I handed him the album and said, "I'm giving you this so you'll never forget me." He was so happy about it that he started to cry. My father looked very proud of me.

Later in a short break, I wrote to Zhan about my problems in dealing with girls and women and that I never knew how to deal and talk to them properly. Then I had my doctor's assistant bring the letter to Zhan.

Twenty minutes later Zhan came into my examination room. He closed the door, stood in the middle of the room and spread his arms. I got up and ran to him. I took him in my arms and held him tightly against me. "Sorry for being so angry and jealous." Zhan said. But in that moment, all that mattered to me was that Zhan had forgiven me.

I wrote Zhan asking if he would sleep in my bed again and let me cuddle with him. Zhan laughed and nodded, whereupon I just kissed him happy.

This day, was a wonderful day!

In the evening when Zhan was reading something in one of his thick medical books, I wrote the love song and I think I will leave him as he is now. I call it "What You Need To Know."

I sent the lyrics in an email to Wooseok, who shortly afterwards sent me his reply, "Just great!"

When Zhan finally put away his thick book, he sat down beside me on the sofa where we had a glass of red wine by candlelight. I finally held Zhan in my arms again and was happy that I wouldn't have to sleep alone anymore. It's funny how quickly you can get used to something.

I was always used to sleeping alone and didn't like it when my uncle came to our house with my cousin and we had to share a bed even though there were free rooms. But no sooner had I slept a night next to Zhan than I wanted nothing else. I wanted to have him with me all the time from then on. And the last few nights when he wasn't with me, I just felt lonely and could hardly fall asleep.

Well, I hope that was the first and last time Zhan punished me in this brutal way. I think I would have preferred him to slap me in the face rather than not talking to me for days and not letting me get close to him. But it also showed me that Zhan is not someone who puts up with anything and expresses his anger clearly. Although I never thought Zhan could get that angry.

My father said it is the power of jealousy. "It can turn even the dearest and calmest person into something else. You shouldn't think just because someone always seems sweet and cheerful, that even when jealousy comes into play, it still is so."

When it was bedtime, I waited for Zhan outside the bathroom door. When he came out of the bathroom, I took him by the hand and pulled him into my bedroom. I had to make sure he was really sleeping in my room. That night, I could finally cuddle my Zhan again. I was so relieved and happy.