Perhaps a Better Place [A Dadzawa Story]

Hallway: Chapter 7

     The bruises have healed by Monday, so I decide to go to school.

     This morning is quiet, surprisingly. My parents leave me alone and I had a decent breakfast by myself. It's been a while since that's happened. Most mornings are filled with drama.

     I miss Shouji and Tokoyami. I'm glad I'm going to see them again. I miss my teachers, too. I get along better with adults than I do with people my own age.

     You know what they say. Trauma makes the mind age faster. Or, is it "distance makes the heart grow fonder"? I don't remember.

     I place my dishes in the dishwasher and grab my backpack off the table. I leave without a word.

     I make it out of the building without any problems. There's a stray cat outside, too.

     I'll arrive at school about 45 minutes early. I'm okay with that. I can probably grab a small coffee from the cafeteria. Gather all my missed work and get started on it.

***

     There was a time where I couldn't care less about school work. In my last year of middle school, I was still an honors student, however. It's hard, having anxiety and being a procrastinator. I told myself I didn't care, but every assignment was turned in on time and I got high grades. My parents didn't care.

     They never cared about anything I did.

     I look up to heroes. Not to the extent some people do, like that annoying kid with green hair in my class. He's weird.

     Funnily enough, I've been a fan of Eraserhead since I was young. Like, since I was 6. There was never really news coverage of him, him being an underground hero and all, against the press, you know how it is. But I admired that he wasn't in it for the glory. He did it to help people. That's the kind of hero I aspired to be.

     The kind of hero I still aspire to be.

     It was near the end of my last year in middle school when I began escaping to my rooftop. It was always just me, but some nights, I felt like I was being watched. The feeling would leave after a few minutes, but when I had panic attacks or I just simply cried, the eyes stayed longer. I never paid them much thought, though, because I just wanted to look at the city in peace.

     It was a few weeks into this school year when I stopped feeling eyes, but Eraserhead would sit with me for 20-30 minutes. I didn't have many panic attacks after he started sticking around.

     It felt nice to have someone to talk to, someone who was interested in my books and my drawings and liked hearing about my day, even if he was there for most of it. I don't really know if he liked it, but why would he stick around if he didn't care?

***

     When I walk into my classroom, Aizawa is there. He looks up before looking back down at his phone. Then he looks at me again, a bit surprised.

     "(L/N). Hey. Welcome back."

     "Thank you. I'm glad to be back."

     He opens a drawer in his desk and pulls out a thin manilla folder. "These are your assignments from last week. I made sure to filter out any of the unnecessary ones so that the workload would be easier. I didn't bother leaving any of the English homework, but there is a quiz here that I'm sure you could do in less than 10 minutes. There are a couple of worksheets from Ectoplasm and Midnight, and one large one from me. Don't worry, it's just a quick assessment of 5 classmates of yours, whichever ones you want."

     I nod and take the folder, looking through real quick. I turn and walk to my seat, deciding to get the English quiz out of my way in 4 minutes. I'm pretty good at math, so Ectoplasm will be easy to finish quickly, and I'm sure I'll be done with Midnight's history worksheets by the time the cafeteria opens for breakfast. I'll work on Aizawa's worksheet during lunch and after school.

     I sit down and start working immediately. I think my teachers appreciate that I don't waste time. I would, if I were them.

     Come on. Not showing up to school for a week and then blowing off the opportunity they gave you to get caught up? I would be infuriated.

     I just... Don't want to upset anyone. I'm too emotionally unstable to handle knowing people are mad at me.

***

     I'm still working when the blue-haired guy with big-ass calves comes in, accompanied by Yaoyorozu. God, she's so pretty, I could never.

     She smiles when she sees me. I tense and continue to work, lowering my head more. I hear her footsteps approach my desk.

     "Good morning, (L/N)-San! It's great to see you're back."

     "Yes," the blue-haired man speaks from next to her. "It was upsetting to see that you were absent for a week. I was relieved when Aizawa-Sensei informed us you were sick. Are you feeling better?"

     "I, um," I swallow my nerves, "yes, thank you. Sorry. Thank you."

     They both smile at me, though the boy's smile seemed a bit strained. What's his problem?

     They both leave for their seats, Yaoyorozu's seat being on the other side of the classroom while Sonic sits right next to me.

     I should probably learn his name. Well, I should probably learn the names of most of my classmates.

     I peak at him from the corner of my eye as he flips the pages in his notebook. His notes are organized and his handwriting is immaculate. He's even drawn in graphs and tables. Seriously, dude, they're notes meant to sum up the lesson, but your notes are more detailed than any lesson we've had this year.

     Overkill.

     I can't find the courage to talk to him, so I look back down at my own notebook. My mouth is dry and my tongue feels swollen in the back of my throat.

     Oh well. Guess I'll just have to ask Tokoyami.

     Sonic suits him, though.  

     I can see Aizawa gently shaking his head from the corner of my eye. Yeah, I don't know how to interact with a majority of my classmates. That's not a big deal, though, right? I mean, why bother? 

     My basic human communication rank is 2/6, at best.