Choices and Chances(Completed)

Chapter 50

When we get to my unit, I saw her roam her eyes around my house. I feel conscious, well since I live alone there's no clutter around and I maintain it's cleanliness since I am always at work. So I hope I didn't disappoint her with how I maintain and organize my house.

You may take a sit po. Do you want anything po, juice, water or coffee?

I'm okay. I just had coffee kanina sa meeting natin.

Sige po, uupo lang po muna ko, ipapahinga ko lang paa. Pasensya na po ah, mejo mabilis akong mangalay buntis po kasi. I said while caressing my babay bump.

What do you want to talk about? She asked obviously changing the topic.

Ma – mama kas –

Mrs. Reyes. She corrected me.

Pero wala naman pong ibang tao, baka po pwedeng –

Tell me what you want? Money? What?

I was shocked at her question, money? Really? It hurts. But, I need this talk with her. It is now or never.

I'm sorry Mrs. Reyes, first I just thought I could - since it's just you and me here, but I get it. Secon, this talk is not about money. I don't need that, I can provide for myself.

Then what is it?

I have been carrying this baggage for so many years - since you left me. May I ask why?

I never love your father. We never love each other. I cannot stay stay and live with him. I cannot waste my life like that.

But how about me? Paano po ako?

You're not part of the plan. I was about to work abroad when I find out I'm pregnant with you. You're father is not even my boyfriend that time. I'm too old to say this but it was a one night stand. I was so drunk that night that I cannot even remember I slept with him.

When my father finds out about my pregnancy they want us to get married but we both declined, but in a condition that we will live together in one roof. We don't have a choice or else ikakasal kami.

I – I actually thought of abortion. But, your father stopped me and I hate him more because of that.

You tried to get rid of me?

I asked her. I cannot control my tears from falling, even I don't want to cry in front of her I can't. Stupid tears! They never love each other that's why I cannot remember an instance they are being affectionate towards each other, because there is none. And, abortion? How can a mother do that to her own child?

Yes, as I've said I was planning to pursue my career abroad but you happened. You're father didn't allow me to do that, he promised me to give all the things I need and want. We live together until I give birth to you. She treated me like a princess, he always give me want I want.

But I feel empty. I am always at home doing house hold choirse and taking care of you, I miss my life outside. I miss myself, my freedom.

When papa died, it gave me courage to leave your father. I want my life back.

Your life without daddy? Your life without me?

Yes, that kind of life.

She said without even flinching. I can see that she never really love my dad, even me.

Do you know dad already passed away nine years ago

I don't – nine years ago? He died nine years ago?

She looked shock and maybe worried at the same time.

How about you?

Surprisingly I'm still alive.

I mean, who take care of you?

Some people with good heart, do you still remember Mamang Rosa? She stays with me until her last breath.

She passed away too? When?

Seven years ago. I live alone for almost seven years now.

I didn't know.

How would you know? Mrs. Reyes, can I ask again? When you – when you give birth to me and spent few years with me. Is there a time that you ever love me as your daughter?

...

Or sige, like? Kahit like? Or fond? Is there any chance you get fond of me?

...

No? okay. kaya pala naiwan mo ko. Kung si Denise po kaya yun maiiwan niyo rin?

Denise is different I love her dad and we want to have a child, I cannot - and you –

I'm not the daughter you want because you never want having me?

I'm sorry

No need, you don't have to apologize for something you never like. I mean we cannot please everybody. But may I ask why you never love me?

You're not part of my plans, if I did not get pregnant with you I will never experience that hell for eight years!

But it wasnt my fault you got drunk and had a one night stand with my dad –

And she slapped me. Am I being too harsh? Did I disrespect her?

I – I am sorry Dane

It's okay Mrs. Reyes, I deserved that. I'm sorry if I disrespect you. I didn't mean it.

I wipe away my tears and get my car keys.

Let's go na po, ihahatid ko na kayo sa hotel. Pasensya na po ulit.

Are you okay? You're shaking? Baka mapano ka, buntis ka pa naman. Why don't you take a sit first?

I didn't mind her; instead I walked out of my unit and went to my car. I can sense that she's following me.

When we get inside my car, I started driving. She would look at me and sigh.

Are you sure you're okay? You're still shaking, I'm getting worried?

Worried? You're worried? Thank you Mrs. Reyes but I can assure you that I am fine.

After a few minutes, we finally reached the hotel.

Thank you for your time Mrs. Reyes, I am sorry for the harsh words earlier. Than you for clearing things out, now I understand why things happened to me. Don't worry, I promised this will be the last time I will bother you just like we agredd before.

Dane, I'm sorry I cannot tell everyone about you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I cannot be a mother to you.

Mrs. Reyes you are my client you don't need to be a mother to me. In fact after your daughter's debut I don't think we will still see each other. Thank you again Mrs. Reyes.

She went out of my car and I quickly drive myself home. This will never be easy for me.

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