SOLUM

1.4

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The meeting with Park Jimin had been cut short after our weird segue to my colourblindness, but maybe that had been for the best, the tension had gotten oddly high and the whole mood just felt a bit awkward really.

He assured me that our company deal was off to a great start and that he was looking forward to seeing me again, before he then had to jog the entire way down to the lobby to catch the cab that had been booked ahead of time, which was patiently waiting for him right outside.

And just like that I was left alone in the office building, still sitting on the chair inside the now stinking meeting room. Maybe it was because I felt weird because of my emotions or what if it actually was I who stank? Maybe I'd been so nervous that I started to sweat excessively? Either way, it was very late and I was all by myself, with only my thoughts, in fact, there was no one else in the entire building... I actually even saw the last person walk out from the entrance, her heavy bag slung over her shoulder as she speed walked towards the last bus arriving at the station next to Jung's office building. The night bus would be another two hours away, if I even had any plans to go home to my apartment at all that night.

The clock was twelve... mister Jung had already gone home, like he should've, like I should've really, but he was responsible enough because of his husband Jin, who always made sure that they could eat dinner together every evening. It was a sweet little custom they always upheld and if it was for some reason broken, the other would always get sickly worried... and then they'd both call me, because I was way too often the reason for that rule being broken, not because I wanted to intrude on their relationship or anything, but either Jung would work with me and we'd both forget the time entirely, or Seokjin would, as my only friend, try to surprise me by my house... forgetting the time and then getting home too late... so I was at fault for all of us never remembering to look at the clock.

Just like that morning, the moment when it felt like everything stopped and I could see every single memory inside my brain play out as a presentation in front of my eyes, that one time in the car-ride going towards my day, the day of the pairing, the momentous occasion that should've rendered me happy for the rest of my days... I saw them again, those pictures flashed inside my head, as if they were getting imprinted in my eyes, but all of them were in black and white, or well, that wasn't completely true, they were old black, browned and dirtied as if those memories had been taken a long, long, time ago, during an age of which shouldn't be dug up again. Like a war-photo meant to bring nonsensical hope into my otherwise miserable life.

It didn't... it only made my head start to ache and I had to pinch the bridge of my nose, leaning my head against the wall beside me, in an effort to try and calm my body down. 

Everything was just broken inside me, wasn't it? Jin knew that, that was why he always tried to patch things up with me, Jung only ever spoke to me as my boss, so he had probably sensed that I was more of the robotic hybrid that I truly felt like and Jimin, he'd most likely come to realise my malfunctions and then he'd run away, just like everyone else, like the hundreds of people who ran down mister Jung's long corridor, everything just to get away from my eyesight, because just being seen by me was enough to put people off.

For some reason I didn't want Jimin to run off though. 

Most of the time, I never cared if someone tried to ignore me and my presence, I actually welcomed that sort of behavior, an exception being Seokjin who always managed to squeeze himself into my day to day life, but I never felt the need for someone to stay. Maybe it was because I could see Jimin in his entirety in pure saturated colours, different shades and hues that I hadn't been able to look at for such a long period. Maybe I didn't want him to go away with a disgusted expression on his face, because I'd actually be able to see the colored version of a grimace as he did so, the navy of the back of his suit getting smaller and smaller in the distance.

I shook my head, not liking the way my whole brain was flooded with pictures of my boss' contractor... not to mention that my entire body felt unbelievably heavy, which lead me to the decision that I probably should stay the night, I wouldn't be able to get home with such a pain shooting through my every limb either way, so there was no idea in me even trying to go down to the lobby and out the entrance. If I did I'd most likely just end up a roadkill on one of the busier highways.

I let my feet drag across the polished black floors, my head hung from my shoulders, my face parallel to the tiles beneath my feet, all the while my vision settled onto the beautifully dark granite that grossly reflected my completely drained mind and body. Even the floor could see the dark circles underlining my puffy eyes and I dragged my hand through my light hair, ruffling it and then taking both my hands, smacking my own cheeks in an effort to try and wake myself up, but nothing changed in the slightest... I guess I'll just have to sleep in my office chair huh?

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