A Dance Of Blades and Hearts

you're my fear

Yess, you guessed it, the title is also from the raplines tear😁, onto the chapter 🤗

........................................................................

You're my star kiara

I breathe in, wrapping my arms around myself.

The palace was quiet, everyone probably asleep or in their quarters and my feet had carried me here,

The same place I had spent countless nights with the emperor looking up at the stars,

The memories prick at my heart till it feels like I can't breathe, but they're memories I'll never trade.

I think about alot, about how I need to talk to azumi and tera about him, even if it's hard, about how I need to see him.

How the ache in my chest will drown me eventually If I don't do something about it, if I run away again.

"who's there?" a very familiar voice calls out

It's immediate how my body locks up, how my heart rate picks up, how I'm hit with a thousand emotions but can only recognize increasing panic

I know that voice, I'll know that voice anywhere.

He's here, why is he here?

Is the first thing I think too scared to turn back and see the person I had spent years thinking about.

*****
I stand a few feet away from the person sitted at the edge of the clearing, eyes narrowed

I come here most nights when I can't sleep, even if everything here reminds me of her and it hurts, but I always find myself back here, looking up at the stars and wondering if the night can tell how empty I feel.

Nobody else ever comes here,

especially not at this time of the night, and seeing a place I know meant something to me being invaded by a stranger, someone who's not her makes me instantly defensive.

A voice in my head tells me it still does mean something to me but I ignore it.

The stranger is covered in shadows and my defenses are on, whoever this is still hasn't said a word and I was growing wary.

******
I breathe in, clenching my fists tightly, enough to dig into my palms, my flight and flee function begs to kick in,

But he's there, he's right there, a few feet away from me from the first time in 4 years, something I never dreamt could happen,

The man I'm still in love with, the man I've missed for what feels like an eternity, the man I hurt, who didn't deserve that from me is right here and I can't run anymore.

I breathe in shakily, before standing up and walking towards him, heart in my throat.

I come into the light, a few feet away from him, finally seeing his face and the breath gets knocked out of my lungs,

The back of my eyes burn and I physically have to stop myself from sobbing

He's dressed in plain but fitting clothes, his hair is longer, eyes still so beautiful and intense.

I notice the bags underneath his eyes and my heart hurts, he looks older, more grown into himself and it feels like I'll start crying anytime soon from how happy I am to see him, but also because of how terrified I am.

His eyes widen and he takes a step back.

*********
It's a dream

It has to be a dream