Im Fine

Something New About Pine Tree

Bills POV

As I watch Pine tree lay down and close his eyes I start to change into the clothes he gave me. I can't stop thinking about his bruises and the bandages that wrapped around his arms.

I wonder where he got them from. Seeing as he doesn't want to talk about it, means it's something serious. Makes me even more curious about it.

I then look at myself in the mirror that's hanging on the closet door and smirk.

"Damn, I'm hot. Pine tree really has nice taste in men doesn't he?"

I ask no one in particular. I look around the room and my eyes land on a desk that's right across from where pine tree his laying.

"Hmm. Maybe he has a diary."

I say aloud as I walk over to his desk and look at the pictures of the pines family and their friends. I then look through the drawers. I find a sketch book and couple of notebooks.

I pick up the sketch book and peek behind me to see if pine tree is not paying attention. I flip through the pages and find a drawing of me in my original form. Im holding my cane and looking over the scenery. The shadings really nice. And just the drawing itself.

I put the book down and pick up one of the notebooks. I open it to some random page and I see a date.

2/18

Today was the same as usual except that I got in a fight at school again. It was in the morning when no one was really around so no one would've seen.

Of course I didn't fight back cause I know I deserved it. I'm happy as long as Im the one they take their anger on and no one else. Even though I'm the one that pissed them off in the first place.

I didn't have any major injuries but some bad enough where they might last a whole 3 weeks. I also made sure I didn't get hit where people can notice.

Also today, Mable asked me to lie to mom and dad about her sneaking out for a party or whatever. I agreed of course, but what hurts me the most is she didn't even thank me. I just wish I can stop bothering people and leave.

I love my family and friends, it's just that why is it that when I have all these people around me, I still feel so alone

Well that's it for today.

Heh, the kids picking fights now. But it pisses me off that he doesn't fight back and that others are hurting him. Only I can do that. He's my pine tree. I then look back down at the notebook and flip past a few more pages.

7/4

Today's 4th of July and I suppose it's a good day. Although I was forgotten at home all by myself.

We were supposed to go have a cook out at the park and watch the fireworks from around the neighborhood. But this morning when I woke up I found that mom, dad, and Mable were gone. Along with the car.

I didn't bother to call them cause I didn't want to bug them and interrupt their fun. So I just did my usual routine. Take a shower, make breakfast, and watch TV.

Everyday I feel so alone but today was different. Today I felt..... Nothing. Like I was numb. I couldn't handle it so it took it to the next level and did something that I know people will be disappointed in if they found out.

I actually felt something. I felt more alive. More normal than usual. I felt like it made me forget about what was troubling me. I can already feel that I'm going to get addicted and continue on doing it. Well im done for today.

What did he do that made him addicted? Reading this, I have this feeling in my stomach that makes me feel weary and worried from some reason. The notebook is finished and I go to the next book. I flip to a random page again.

11/8

We've been in school as juniors for about 3 and half months. I've been hearing a voice now. I started hearing it at the beginning of this year but it was small at first. Now, it's as loud as my normal thoughts.

It just tells me what I feel deep down about myself. It's says I'm "useless, dumb, annoying, ugly, weird, and that no one likes me." And of course I agree otherwise why would I have these thoughts in the first place.

Anyway I think I should stop writing in these notebooks cause I don't want people to find them and think somethings wrong so this will be my last entry.

Goodbye.

"Wow."

I said aloud.

"What are you doing?"

I hear a tired voice come from behind me. I slowly turn my head around and I see pine tree sitting up on the bed. He had red and puffy eyes, and his face looked drained of its color. I quickly hid the book under my shirt.

"Nothing!"

I yelled. Pine tree just looked at me questionly and sighed while throwing his feet off the bed and stood up.

He stretched and walked over to the closest and pulled out a hoodie. He put it on as he walked to the door. He looked back at me and smiled a small smile.

"Are you hungry? "

He asked. I tilted my head to the side in confusion. He just chuckles and waves his hand at me to come with him. I quickly stand up and shove the book back in the drawer when he wasn't looking and ran passed him and out the room.