Im Fine

Chapter 1

⚠WARNING⚠
Mentions of...
-self-harm
-cutting
-Starvation

Dipper

Dipper and Mabel were close most of middle school. They were inseparable. They did everything together. Even when there were a few more of Mable's friends that joined in.  

Starting high school was nerve-racking and exciting for both the teens, they had fun the first quarter of school but soon after, they grew apart.

 Mable made friends with almost everyone and was popular with both males and females. Dipper hardly ever got a glance from a teacher and maybe some asshole bullies. Five kids, two of which were seniors, one sophomore, and two freshmen. And Dipper honestly doesn't know how why they decided to hang out with each other in the first place but he does know why they bully him.

Like any 'weird' or 'off' kid, he's quiet, smart, has a weird birthmark, and is always alone. Dipper understands that anyone else like him would get at least a little bothered by others, so what's the big deal? Oh right, they think he's a freak. 

The first year of high school after winter break, Dipper had fallen asleep in his  History class. He knows it was just a dream but it felt so real. So real in fact that he was forced awake due to an oncoming panic attack, and started screaming about some demon and the end of the world in the middle of class. 

Mabel tried to comfort him after but he just felt so alone and left behind that he pulled away from her. It wasn't mystery twins no more. Just Dipper and Mable.

Dpper thought about wearing a hat again to hide his birthmark but it just didn't feel right. He still had Wendy's hat but he didn't want to ruin it. Sure, he could've just gone and gotten another one but he just doesn't care anymore. Either way, every day after and during school, he is going to get picked on.

Mable never knew about the bullying. Dipper's glad she doesn't. It would only bother and waste her time. It's kind of surprising that she doesn't know. Well, considering she knows almost every person in school. Someone had to have said something. Right?

Then, without anyone noticing, or more like ignoring, he usually gets away with a few bruises and small scrapes but nothing too serious. If he does get serious injuries, which is not often but still possible, It's not bad to where he needs to be rushed to the hospital, but bad to where he needs to at least walk to the hospital. 

Then came the self-harm.

His wounds turned into the 'worse injuries' and his once smooth arms became textured. His wounds came from being beaten up. They became worse because he started to drive people to do it. There was just something very compelling about being hurt by others than himself.

It makes him feel like he's finally being rightfully punished. He needs to be reminded that he's weak, useless, and a waste of space. He never does good. For some reason, his grades are bad, everything he touches breaks, everyone he is with becomes unhappy somehow, and whenever he tries to be happy for himself, he ruins it in every possible way.

There's nothing he can do but hurt himself for his own mistakes. Just so he can feel less ashamed than he already is. 

The cutting was kind of the same. He needed to feel punished. He also just needed to feel.

Then he started starving himself. 

Not on purpose though. He just didn't have much of an appetite. He wasn't a fan of meat really, and when he ate any other food, he either felt sick or like he was getting thicker. Those were just afterthoughts compared to the main reason though. He didn't feel motivated enough to eat. It felt too tiring.

So now his routine became, eating a small breakfast so he doesn't pass out, replacing lunch with a small cutting session, getting a bruised rib, eating only the sides from dinner, sleep, and then repeat.  

Dipper doesn't think he can even be helped at this point. So, he pushes everyone away and lets the routine continue until fate takes him away and gives him to death.