This is Bullshit

Chapter 3 - Long Days

Ayyyy 1am!!!

Kakashi woke up early. He was gasping for air and drenched in his own sweat.

Ka...ka...shi

"Stop." He muttered, putting his shaking hands over his ears.

How could you kill her?

'I didn't....'

You awful awful child!

'It was an accident.' Kakashi made his way to the bathroom and locked the door.

I hear all his teammates are dead. He's like a disease.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. Kakashi couldn't think straight. His thoughts were swimming in his mind and he was more focused on breathing than anything else. He turned on the water and washed his hands. Once, twice, three times. Still there. Four, five, six times. The blood dripping down his fingers was warm, but made him feel cold. Seven, eight, nine times. He felt her pulse stop and her breath hitch everytime he moved his arm.

Kakashi washed his hands over and over and over again. Scrubbing under his nails, inside the wrinkles, then down to his palm. Again and again. 'Get off... why is it still so... red?'

"Kakashi?" It was Aizawa. He was knocking at the door. He said something else, but Kakashi couldn't hear him. The sounds of the water got louder, and the knocking left ringing in his ears. He could vaguely feel his nails digging into his skin.

Ka... ka... shi....

'Go away.'

Ka... ka... shi....

"Leave me the hell alone!" He turned around, someone was there. Who would be in his house?

"Kakashi!" Someone was shaking him. "Do you know where you are right now?"

"Where am I?" He responded slowly. "Bathroom... your house... with Hizashi...."

"Good. What did we do today?" He was just like Minato. Too familiar. Kakashi swallowed the bile rising in his throat.

"We went to a mall... there was a villain. I stopped her." The ringing stopped, and the feeling returned to Kakashi's body. He slowed his breathing down and shook off Aizawa's hands.

"Are you okay?" Aizawa asked, even though the obvious answer was 'No.'

"Yes. Bad dream, that's all." Kakashi dried his hands and pushed past Aizawa to go back to his room. "That's all it was." He repeated.

The next morning, Kakashi acted as if nothing had happened; Aizawa did the same.

"First day of school!" Hizashi beamed. "Gotta be prepared!" Aizawa got the pre-made waffles out of the oven and set them on the table.

"'Zashi could you get the whipped cream?"

"Sure thing!"

Kakashi refused to allow himself to feel anything over this exchange. He'd left himself vulnerable last night, and he hated it. Hated that he was now a child that needed comforting. He'd gotten through this alone before, why couldn't he do it again?

His brain was having problems deciding between his child emotions and his adult ones, so now they were merging together in a strange way. He could just lock them up, but he would still get nightmares, which he only managed to get through because he lived alone.

He packed his bag and left the house with Hizashi and Aizawa. Kakashi didn't say anything for the whole ride, and opted to just reading his novel. Aizawa and Hizashi made small talk in the background.