This is Bullshit

Chapter 12 - End of Part 1

I tried something new for this chapter, and I'd like to say, I have 0 experience with psychology and the human mind, I did a little research and this is what I came up with. Please correct me if I made a mistake.

Also, I headcanon that Kakashi's a light drinker, but Anko isn't, so she'll always try to get him to go drinking with her and hilarity ensues.

Goto Akira prided himself on being a good therapist. He wouldn't say he was the greatest, or the worst, he fit nicely in the middle. And that was fine.

Until...

Hatake Kakashi.

The boy was an enigma, one moment they would be talking about how awful the Uchiha(?) are, and the next he'd be finishing the session questioning his entire existence, and everything he'd learned up until this point.

That's not to say it wasn't entertaining, it was, but they weren't getting anywhere. This would be their second in-person session, (the last one was over call because he was out of the country) and Goto was ready for anything.

Until he wasn't.

The boy entered the room looking like he hadn't slept in days, (nightmares? Night terrors? Insomnia? No exercise or dietary problems, he seems to take his health seriously. Anxiety?) he decided not to press him for now, and got out the weapon he'd made last session. "Would you like to paint it?"

Hatake didn't respond, he just looked down at his lap.

Goto, of course, had heard of the fight at the USJ, and Aizawa-san had told him some of the details privately, but he didn't think it would affect Hatake this much. He always seemed so stoic. Though, Goto thought, everyone has a breaking point.

"Are you okay?" He started with a simple question.

"Is anyone ever okay?" He responded. "Do we have any way of knowing if they're okay, or if they're just lying to us?"

That's... not good. (Trust issues? Recent? Or is there an underlying problem? Do these trust issues cause him anxiety?)

Goto had noticed that Hatake seemed unable to focus on any one object, and he seemed to sway slightly when walking. (Alcohol? Fatigue? Insomnia?)

"How do you sleep at night?"

"Like shit." He massaged his forehead.

(Insomnia is likely, but he seems out of it for different reasons.)

"Do you lie awake, or are you woken up throughout the night?"

"Both. None. Who knows?" Hatake slurred his words slightly, and Goto sighed.

"Hatake, are you drunk?"

Hatake looked at him, and blinked. "Kakashi. Call me Kakashi."

"Okay. Kakashi, are you drunk?"

"Maybe."

"I see. If you're drunk, we should end the session here." He knew that he was more likely to say something he'd regret in this state, and while generally, that would be better for Goto, he didn't want to break the already fragile trust they had.

"I don't want to go back."

If he objects... that's a little different.

"Why?" (Abuse is unlikely, but it's not an impossibility.)

"Pretty sure Aizawa heard me talking with O-a friend, and now he thinks I'm breakable." So he was sober enough to avoid mentioning a name.

"What did you talk about?"

"If I told you that then your job would be too easy." Kakashi grinned.

Time for a subject change.

"Why did you drink?"

"Harder to accidentally kill yourself when you're drunk." That's... worrying and untrue.

"Do you think about suicide often." Kakashi looked at him like he'd grown three heads.

"Suicide? Who said anything about suicide?"

"Was that not what you meant?"

"Nope." Kakashi's eyelids began to droop.

"You can sleep." He offered. "I can get you a blanket if you like."

"Nah. You're too dangerous for that."

Goto didn't know whether or not he should be flattered by that. (Dangerous can mean he doesn't trust me not to do something to him in his sleep, or he doesn't trust me to be able to watch out for him while he sleeps.

The first option has 2 meanings, he either expects me to touch him in some way meaning he's been taken advantage of in a sexual manner before, and has come to expect it from others, or he thinks I'll harm him in some other way.

Option 2 isn't much better, it's quite obvious from the way he behaves that he's lived a dangerous life, so he now expects attackers, while I'm not extraordinarily strong, I'm relatively confident in my fighting abilities, but of course that depends on the attacker.

Then again, it could be both option 1 and 2.)

"You aren't going to tell anyone about this, right? Patient confidentiality and all that."

"If this happens again, I will have to tell someone. Underage drinking isn't a joke you know."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Old enough to kill, old enough to drink."

Goto opened his mouth to say something, but he came up empty. (This is not good. This is very not good) "Will you sleep if I leave the room?"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes, then shrugged. "I guess I trust you enough not to stab me in my sleep." Kakashi shrugged.

(Not good doesn't even begin to cover this.)

And this marks the end of Part 1! Hope you enjoyed it, I'll have to re-watch BNHA season 2, so I don't know when the next update will be coming out, when I know, I'll post it on my profile!

Obito and Shukaku aren't going to be important to the story until later on, so they won't have many appearances for now.

Until next time!

 - Freddie