This is Bullshit

Chapter 3.7 - Cults

When will the actual chapters appear? Who knows. This is important though.

Konoha didn't really have... cults.

Well, that was debatable. Some people thought that Shinobi culture in general was a cult, and most thought the Uchiha's were batshit crazy for their intense worshipping of their gods, but that wasn't really... a cult.

Well, Kakashi didn't think so, anyway.

It's not like he'd ever even been to an actual cult meeting.

Until today.

Now, some might say that The League resembles a cult, and to those people Kakashi would say, "have you ever even been to a cult meeting?" because Kakashi has, and he can say that cult meetings are way weirder.

Now, some of you might be wondering, "but Kakashi! How did this happen?"

And to those people, Kakashi can honestly say that he has no fucking clue.

One minute he was walking back from Yuuei and the next there's a woman asking if he worships Ka...... something or other.

So here Kakashi is, in the center of a room being put in black robes and handed a mask.

Kakashi would fight them off... but he was curious now.

Either way, if things got bad he was confident enough in his abilities to fight them off.

It was weird though, he would've thought that most people would be able to recognize his face by now. He'd been on national television a few times and he was normally recognized anywhere else.

"Hatake Kakashi." Oh. So they did recognize him.

"Yo."

"Pray with us, as we worship the great goddess Kaguya."

Kakashi blinked. Kaguya.

"Like... the big angry rabbit goddess who wants to enslave the whole world in a permanent dream like state for some, unexplained reason?" Kakashi clarified.

"Oh you're already familiar with her. Wonderful!" The person talking to him clapped their hands together.

"The same rabbit goddess who's also completely insane and wants to steal all the life energy away from the world because she's the equivalent of an angry toddler?"

"You're completely aware of her motives! Though I wouldn't call her an angry toddler."

"The same Kaguya who happened to murder tens of thousands of my people because she threw a tantrum?"

The man laughed awkwardly. "D-did she? I'm starting to think that maybe there was a mistake."

"The same Kaguya who's responsible for the death of my closest friends and family?"

"Y-you should go! Y-you don't need to be here after all."

"Oh no I think I do." Kakashi smiled and dropped the mask to the floor.

"Ah shit. Alright welp I guess we're going to have to fight then."

"Fight?" Kakashi disappeared and kicked the man behind his knees. "I don't think so."

He held the man's arms behind his back and slammed his face into the pavement.

"We're going to talk."

~~~

It turned out that the cult members actually knew nothing about Kaguya. They'd just found some old scrolls and documents that mentioned her and began to worship her strength.

After Kakashi talked some sense into them, they were able to see the errors of their ways.

How poetic.

Though, this begged the question, how did they know about Kaguya in the first place? Where had those scrolls come from? Why the fuck did those people find them in the first place?

These were all questions he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to.

Alas, he should probably get home. He didn't want people thinking he got kidnapped again. Even if he did, technically, get kidnapped again.

Kakashi pulled out his book and flipped to a random page.

He really ought to do something about that kidnapping problem.

Sure, it was entertaining but he had a feeling he was getting involved in things he didn't care to deal with.

Oh well. He was sure it wouldn't go horribly wrong too quickly.

He'd have time to finish his book, at least.