This is Bullshit

Chapter 11 - Injuries

At some point, Kakashi blacked out, he doesn't remember when, but he does remember dreaming of a flying dragon named Madara and an evil rabbit named Kaguya. Oh, and All for One's a potato apparently.

When he woke up, his vision was still blurry, and for some reason Sasuke was staring at him looking very disappointed.

"What?" Kakashi coughed.

"You look like shit." Sasuke commented.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't really have time to freshen up before I got the shit beaten out of me."

"I'm just saying." Sasuke shrugged and sat down in front of him.

"Why are you here anyway?"

"Oh I'm not. You're actually insane, I'm a hallucination."

"That's nice." Kakashi put his head down. "You wouldn't happen to have any water, would you? I feel like I haven't had anything to drink in at least a week." Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "No? Can you untie me then?"

"I've just explained to you that I'm not real."

"Yeah well I thought maybe my hallucinations would be good for something." Kakashi sighed, then winced. "Can you at least tell me my injuries?"

"Should've hallucinated Sakura or Tsunade if you wanted that. Hell, even Kabuto."

"That piece of shit would just laugh."

Sasuke shrugged. "It was just a suggestion."

"You have shit suggestions. You really ought to work on that." Kakashi coughed and blood trickled out of his mouth. "Damn, am I really going to die here?"

"If I recall correctly, when you were taken here first, you were in so much pain you wanted to kill yourself."

"Let bygones be bygones."

The door slammed open and the heroes rushed in.

"Huh. They actually showed." Sasuke folded his arms.

"Of course they did." Kakashi retorted. "They aren't shinobi."

"You're talking to yourself." Sasuke sighed.

"I know."

~~~

They searched every abandoned building until they found the bar, nearly 3 days after they began the search. The door burst open and they searched the place. The screen flickered on.

"Hello heroes." A voice said.

"All for One." All Might crossed his arms. "Where's the boy?"

"I'm guessing you asked where the boy is, but I wouldn't know because I can't actually hear you, I'm not actually speaking right now." He paused. "The child is in this building... somewhere. But that's not why I'm here to speak to you. Soon enough, you'll get a call telling you that Kurogiri has been broken out of jail."

On cue, their phones began to ring.

"A new era is upon us. Thank you in advance for your sacrifices. But enough about that, there's a child to save, right?" The screen turned off and the shelves behind the bar moved to reveal a door.

Aizawa and All Might looked at each other, before All Might stepped forward and kicked the door down. Kakashi was tied up and littered with injuries, the heroes swarmed the room.

"Of course they did," Kakashi said to no one. "They aren't shinobi."

There was a pause, then he said, "I know." and passed out.