I'm With The Billionaire

Chapter 36: Jake

You guys should listen to the song while you read :) I think it fits the situation well and I also love 5SOS so there's that too lmao

[JAKE]

You would think since we've broken up before, I wouldn't be surprised by the pain.

But that heartache wasn't something I could ever get used to.

I went home to my apartment and sat in the silence. My apartment had always been empty. It was crazy how just two weeks of Victoria living here had brightened everything up and made it feel more like a home.

Had I been too stupid for thinking that we would get married? Had I been too stupid to imagine kids running around while Victoria and I looked on?

I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. God, it was my fault this time.

I loved her, I did. I loved her more than anything. So why couldn't I trust what she said?

Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was her kissing my best friend.

Was it that then? Had I not forgiven her for that?

She had done it to make sure I didn't follow her. She had wanted to make sure that I hated her so I wouldn't be so hung up over her.

I took a deep breath and took my phone out and made a call. It rang for a while before going to voicemail.

"Victoria," I croaked out. "I-I don't know when you'll see this. But I just wanted you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you for kissing Ian that day. I know you did it to protect me and I wish I could protect you too. And I...I understand why you had to leave. I'm sorry for not being the man that you deserve. I'm sorry for letting you down when you needed me most. And I'm sorry for still thinking that she could've never done it. I hope you can forgive me for this. I hope that you get everything possible out of this life."

With that, I hung up and buried my face in my hands and cried.

***

I woke from a restless sleep before the sun rose. I stared out into the darkness and got lost in thought.

Was Victoria sleeping right now or was she having a hard time like me? Did she remember to take her medicine? Was her family taking good care of her?

I shook the thoughts out of my head. We were broken up, it shouldn't be any of my concern.

I laughed scornfully to myself. Would I ever be able to convince myself? I had only ever loved her and I couldn't see myself with anyone else.

And the thought of her with anyone else? It made something deep and dark roar up in defiance within me. My hands clenched into fists. She obviously had the freedom to go out with whoever she wanted but it wasn't something I wanted to think about. If anyone touched her—

God, I didn't know what I would do.

I looked down at my hands. I didn't have the right to think like that anymore. She broke up with me because I couldn't believe her. It was wholly my fault.

I refused to get consumed in my thoughts and locked everything behind a door that I would open when I was ready to face the pain. And so, I left to go on a run and clear my thoughts.

The sun began to rise as I made my way back. Sweat dripped off me as music blasted in my ears. I ran along the side of the Hudson River, taking measured breaths and keeping my thoughts on my footsteps and not on her.