Strictly Inappropriate (RDJ FanFic)

Part 35 - Complicated

I open my eyes and find out I'm wrapped around Downey's body. We switched cuddling positions as it seems during the night. I look up at him and chuckle. It's really so weird and unexpected. Spending the night with Downey? Sleeping together without having sex? Cuddling? I'd never imagine something like that happening.

"You're such a cuddler" he smiles gently.

"Is it a bad thing?" I ask.

"Not right now, but maybe in a couple of months when the temperature gets even higher there'll be a problem"

"Fine, but don't come asking for my hugs after" I say playfully.

"Yeah, like you'll be able to resist hugging me" he replies with the same tone.

"Guess we'll see" I smile.

"Yes, we will. But for now, since we're here let's make the best out of it" he smirks and pulls my body on top of his.

He traces his hand behind my neck to keep my lips attached to his for a few seconds. His tongue very eager for a trip down my throat and his hands even more than that. As soon as his one hand leaves my neck it finds the other one on my back and together they move down to my ass. I'm wearing shorts that help him get a good natural grip of my hips with both his hands. He rhythmically asks some pressure which gives me the message that he's down for more than just making out.

My hips grind against his, his lips are devouring mine and his grip on me gets rougher and rougher by the second. It doesn't take long for his bulge to make its appearance underneath me. Downey has his eyes closed and he leaves a few moans every now and then. Under other circumstances I'd jump on every single bone he has and not complain at all but I don't want that. I want us to clear things out before going down that road again so I stop the heated making out suddenly.

"What's wrong?" his voice deep and turned on.

"I can't do this, Downey. The sneaking around, the cheating, the lying, it's too much" I sigh.

"You only have to worry about the sneaking around, you don't have to cheat or lie to anyone" he replies calmly.

"I'm serious, I don't want to do that to your wife anymore. It's wrong, inappropriate and disrespectful" I say and stand up from the bed.

"Is that the only problem you have? My wife? Or is it me that you have a problem with?" he asks seriously and stands up too.

He wears his shirt from last night and buttons up some of the buttons.

"Can we get a cup of coffee and talk about this better?" I ask, not knowing what exactly to reply right now.

"Sounds good" he simply nods.

I go to the kitchen and he closely follows me. I turn the coffee machine on and wait for a few minutes until its done. I get a cup for each of us and we take a seat on the couch.

"So? Are you going to answer my question?" he asks after a few seconds.

"Yes" I take another sip to gain a few extra seconds to think.

"Listen, I don't know how things would be if you weren't married. All I know is that you are and I don't want to be the third person in your marriage anymore"

"So you have no problem with me? My character? You've called me plenty of names if you remember. I can remind you if you don't" he raises his eyebrow.

"I remember just fine, thank you. I stand by most of them if we're being honest here. You're cheating on your wife, that's not good for your character. And of course that fact that I kept sleeping with you isn't good for mine either. We're bad people, Downey" I sigh once again.

"I'm a lot worse than you" he says between a joke and a serious statement.

"So where does that leave us?" he questions.

"I don't know, I just don't want to be doing something which brings me so much guilt" I look down.

"But it also brings you joy. You were happy this morning with me, last night too. Don't cancel those feelings"

"And what do you suggest? Keep screwing you until you get bored of me and cut me off? I don't want to spend time and effort for something that's not going to get me anywhere"

"I'd never get bored of you, Liv" he corrects me.

"Great, then I get to be your mistress forever" I say sarcastically.

"You mean a lot to me, Liv. I care about you" he says looking at me.

"Have you told that to your previous affairs too?" I roll my eyes.

"No, because none of them meant anything to me. Don't compare yourself with them"

"It's kind of hard not to compare myself with them. You had your fun with every single one of them and then you stopped and moved to the next one. Or will you say that the intern I caught you with was the only affair you had?" I ask ironically.

"No, she wasn't the only one" he says desperately.
"But listen to me, I said I never cared for them and I mean it. They were just for sex, this is not how I see you" he says genuinely.

"That still doesn't change anything. You still have a wife and I'm still the secret affair" I fall back into the couch.

"Our situation is complicated, yes. But we're following our hearts and at least for me it doesn't feel wrong" he says and looks at his watch.

"I just don't know how to deal with this, with us" I explain.

"Listen, I wish I could stay here and talk things out until they make sense but unfortunately I have to go. God, I wish I could stay here for the whole weekend but Susan is waiting for me back at the house" he says that last part with hesitation.

"See? That's what I'm talking about" I shake my head when we stand up.

"I promise we won't leave this conversation like this. We'll continue it, alright?" he asks me standing right in front of me.

"Okay" I nod and he leans down to kiss me.

We then go back to the bedroom for him to get back into his clothes and when he's done we stay by the door.

"I'll see you Monday, okay?" he asks.

"Yes" I say disappointed.

He brings his lips on mine once again and lets me experience another one of our slow, passionate kisses. It takes me a couple of seconds to reopen my eyes once we've parted our lips. He really knows how to zone me out. We look at each other and then he leaves and suddenly the house feels empty. It's a weird feeling concidering that he was never a part of it.

The whole day I couldn't stop thinking about our conversation. Is there really even a solution to our problem? Or is it just a choice I have to make? Follow my heart and be with him or follow the logic and stop seeing him. I guess this is what happens when you get involved with a married man. I want him all to myself. Am I selfish? I don't think so but I'm not the best judge. I just don't want to share him. There could be a solution to this but it's not up to me so all I can do is wait patiently at least until this conversation is over.

A/N
Excuse me for updating this 💩 chapter. Unfortunately the next one is going to be equally boring but I promise it's going to get better after those😄