Emma

Chapter 40

Emma lay on her bed her head directed upwards and looking at the roof as though it was the cause of all her problems.

Tears rolled down her eyes and it felt like the flow would never stop.

Thoughts ran through her head, choking up any spare space. She tried praying but she felt like she didn't have enough energy to formulate any words, she didn't even know what to pray for.

All she had wanted was not to go and visit her mum in the first place, all she had hoped was that something would have happened that she didn't need to go, that was what she had spent all her days and nights praying for, and now that she had gone and come back, she felt like there was nothing to pray for at all.

She had questioned and questioned many times why it all happened, and just when she seemed to forget about the fact and put herself together, another visit would come and open up all her wounds. She didn't know who to talk about it too, of course God always listens and is always there for us, but sometimes, you need to talk to another person to be reminded that you aren't alone both spiritually and physically.

Emma trusted Andrew and Angel with her life, and they both knew all that happened to her, but she felt like telling them how she truly felt about it would put her tension into their shoulders and she didn't want to do that, she didn't want to seem like she couldn't handle herself, like she wasn't strong enough.

She wasn't the only one who went through things like this, so she didn't want to come on as though she was weak and desperate, even though she knew she was.

No sobs came out of her mouth as she looked up at the ceiling, only tears, tears trickled down her skin and dampened the cloth on the bed. Thoughts, worries, and fears flew around in her head but she couldn't really ponder on anything.

And then one thought popped out, the words rang through her head and increased the already murderous migraine she was having.

You need to let people help you. It seemed so easy, to just open up to someone and just ask for help, but it wasn't. To most people, it may have been but to Emma, it wasn't.

She didn't know if it was pride which she highly doubted or if just the thought of people knowing that she didn't know what to do.

That the girl everyone thought had everything going her way, was actually going through things that she felt like no one could understand. It was painful and dreadful and even the tears that rolled down her eyes that usually reduced her pain only added to it as a reminder that she was going through so much despair.

She knew that the first person she was meant to take all her burdens to was God, but something kept holding her back, kept pulling her away from the outlet she knew would relieve her stress, and she felt too weak to struggle, so she just gave in, gave in to the voice that kept on telling her that there was no way out and that she should just give up.

All she needed was someone to remind her that she should take all her burdens to God because he cared for her, that's all she needed, a reminder that God could do what no one can do and in a matter of seconds, can turn everything round for her good.

But at that moment she forgot, she forgot all those memory verses that reminded her of God's love. She had already given in. Her thoughts suddenly changed direction and one major one, out of the many that floated in her head, stuck out.

Cole.

She trusted Cole a lot and she didn't know why. She had trusted him to take her to the Resting Home without asking her many questions and that was exactly what he did, he hadn't pestered her on why she was crying neither did he get angry when she refused to tell him, he just took her home and left her with a word of advice, those words of advice that seemed to call out to her. She wanted to tell him, to tell him everything, she felt like she could open her whole world to him, it was hard for her to ask somebody for help but not as hard if that somebody was Cole Walker.

She found some comfort in him, in his voice, his smile, his eyes, his scent, his touch, in his everything. She froze as the realization hit her. She quickly brushed off the thought that left her shook before making a conclusion in her mind.

She summoned all her strength to get up and began walking out the door of her room, before pausing by the mirror and looking at herself.

Her eyes had become incredibly red and swollen and her skin looked deadly pale, she hadn't changed her clothes and some of her hair had stuck on her skin that was dampened with tears. Emma took in a deep breath and nodded her head trying to reassure herself.

She finally walked out of her room and out of her house. Her head was still hurting and her, refusing to make any more room for a second thought, only added to the pain.

She was weak and dizzy and felt like any slight wind would blow her away, she summoned yet another wave of energy before closing her eyes and calling out to the only one she knew would give her complete strength.

"Lord, guide me."