Chapter 34

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(Seina's POV)
I arrived at the host club one day after school to find the hosts all dressed in late Edo period cosplay with everyone except Mori-senpai wearing hair extensions. A sign outside declared it to be an Ikeda shop for the day. The fan girls seemed unusually enamoured with the theme and Renge-san in particular was incensed, already mid-dramatic monologue.
I headed over to Kyoya and allowed him to press a quick kiss to my cheek. 'Good afternoon Seina.'
'And you.' I reached up and ran a hand through his ponytail. 'Hmm, I have to say I think I prefer your shorter hair.'
Just then I heard a strange noise coming from behind one of the partitions. I glanced at Kyoya but he showed no signs of having heard. 'Can I borrow your Katana?'
'Not a chance.'
'Mean.'
'Seina! Where have you been all day?' Demanded the twins as they appeared beside me.
'I have been in every single one of your classes all day.' I replied impassively.
'But you haven't been here!'
'I had a group project to complete for my music class tomorrow.'
'And when you finally come here, you go straight to him!'
'I am her fiancé.' Kyoya retorted a tad irritably.
'We're her friends!'
I whirled around at the sound of splintering wood to see that Mori-senpai had speared the partition wall.
'Mori-senpai!'
'Why the sudden lunge?'
'Are you not getting enough attention?'
'Mori-senpai! Please calm down!'
'No. We have a trespasser.' He replied.
Behind said wall was Ritsu Kasanoda, heir to the Kasanoda syndicate, who immediately ran at Mori-senpai then fell to his knees before him. 'Morinozuka Takashi! Senpai! Please take me on as your apprentice!' Everyone stared at the intruder with open mouths except Honey-senpai who looked positively delighted.
As usual, Kyoya and his ever present black book were the source of an explanation. 'Ritsu Kasanoda of 1st year, class D. Heir to the 3rd generation head of the Kasanoda Syndicate, the most powerful line in the whole Kanto area. Admitted to Ouran for high school. Long red hair and a mean looking appearance; taciturn, without any friends. If your eyes meet you will have bad dreams for three months; if you bump shoulders you will end up in the hospital; those who attempt to talk back are sent to an early-'
'Hey Kyoya that's quite enough. Since when were you a purveyor of malicious gossip and obvious nonsense?' I demanded.
'He was going to say grave!' Hikaru loudly whispered to his twin.
'Hikaru!'
'What?'
'So,' Tamaki-senpai began. 'Why does a human weapon such as yourself want to be apprenticed to Mori-senpai?'
'That's not true. I am not a human weapon. I was just born with a face that makes me look mean.' Kasanoda-kun replied defensively.
'Then you're aware of it Casanova-kun?' The twins asked with a characteristic lack of tact.
'Guys!' I exclaimed.
'It's Kasanoda!'
'Bossa Nova?'
'I said Kasanoda! Do you want to die!?' The redhead yelled furiously.
'He does have a mean look.'
'Damn it. It's all because of the way I look. Ever since I was a young tyke, my old man said that I was destined to be the greatest gangster of all time due to my mean look. And so, from the time I was little I was taught to be a godfather. Anyhow, thanks to that gangster education no one ever comes near me. Even my men get scared and won't get too close anymore. And so, I am alone. But really, I too would like to play with everyone else. I'd like to play kick the can with the men that follow me.'
Tamaki-senpai perked up at that. 'To be sure, playing kick the can is nice.'
'But I don't know how I'm supposed to associate with other people.'
'Poor guy.' Murmured Honey-senpai.
'Morinozuka-senpai, that's why I need you to show me. How can you be the way that you are? As mean looking as you are? As expressionless, unspeaking and unsociable, you've got a mug like the watchdog from hell, so how is it that you are able to get the people around you to like you so much? Please teach me your secrets!'
Mori-senpai looked horrified at the younger student before putting his head in his hands. I hastily went to his side. 'Hey Mori-senpai that's just not true. You're perfectly handsome and we like you just the way you are. Kasanoda-kun! You on the other hand are out of order!'
'Takashi? Are you ok?' Honey-senpai asked in a small voice.
Mori-senpai looked between me and his cousin, massaging his temples slightly. 'I feel a little lightheaded.'
'Sir, are you sure we shouldn't do something?' The twins asked Tamaki-senpai with obvious concern.
'No. Leave him alone. He wants to be Mori-senpai's apprentice so Mori-senpai should be the one to decide what to do. This is not something we can interfere with.'
'Tamaki.' Mori-senpai muttered, gaining the attention of the blonde. The horror struck, pleading look on his face was enough to convey his desperate need for some Tamaki-senpai level interference. I'd be hard pressed to come up with another time when I'd seen him so emotional.
Thankfully, Tamaki-senpai was feeling unusually emphatic and understood the silent plea for help. 'Very well Mori-senpai, since you insist, I Tamaki Suoh will do whatever little I can to help.'
Haruhi eyed him suspiciously. 'You actually wanted to get involved so badly you couldn't bear it, huh?'
Tamaki-senpai approached Kasanoda-kun and tilted his chin up. 'Lift your head Bossa Nova-kun.'
'It's Kasanoda.'
'For the time being, you can call me King, Bossa Nova-kun.'
'I told you-'
'Are you listening Bossa Nova-kun!?'
'Yes Sir!'
'There may be many points of difference between you and Mori-senpai, but there is one definitive thing that you are lacking. A lovely item!'
'A...lovely item...?' Repeated the horrified redhead.
'I would now like to introduce to you this...lovely item, 'Mitsukuni-kun'. Sure, maybe Mori-senpai does have a mean look, and gives off a feeling of iciness at first glance. But what if we put this 'Mitsukuni-kun' atop his shoulders? It's almost like he's a teddy bear that little forest animals are fond of. In addition, this item also plays up Mori-senpai's tight lipped character. Even without saying anything, just placing this item with him increases people's tolerance of Mori-senpai, and they are left with a positive interpretation of him as a nice quiet, young man. That's the plan. It's no exaggeration to say that Mori-senpai's charm was first established once Honey-senpai was there.'
'You're right!' The twins exclaimed.
'Now that you mention it, Mori-senpai...basically doesn't do anything.'
'He's basically white noise.'
I was running out of ways to reassure my friend. 'Will the two of you cut it out!?'
Unfortunately, Honey-senpai had also been listening to this verbal battering. 'Takashi...were you just using me?'
'But 'Mitsukuni-kun' is on a long term contract to Mori-senpai, so you cannot borrow him.'
'Tamaki-senpai!' I growled at the older student. 'Honey-senpai is not on contract to anybody! They are cousins.'
'Have I been rented to you Takashi!?'
'Honey-senpai! You know that's not true!' Mori-senpai shook his head frantically at the sobbing blonde.
Naturally Tamaki-senpai was still not done. 'Never mind. I will come up with an alternative. The next thing to address is your 'Yankee' fashion. Hitachiin Brothers...'
'Sir!' They barked.
'Come up with an image change for this man's fashion!'
'Roger!'

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