BJ Tharn [On-Going]

chapter 16

Chapter 16
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"Be yourself.
People don't have to like you,
And you don't have to care."
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The sun still has not risen, but Mew was already wide awake. There is a sinking feeling in his chest that he could not erase, that something bad would happen. He just sat on their bed while looking at his lover who was peacefully sleeping beside him.

Mew was looking forward to this day since he's going to see Gulf perform and conquering his fears, but then he had a gut feeling that something or someone is going to ruin his day. The first person that he had thought of is his mother. He  knows how his mother's brain work, and knowing her, she already have something up her sleeve.

He wanted to talk to someone. Mew took his phone from his bedside drawer and dialed the number of the person he had always trusted for advice. Max.

In contrast to his chaotic relationship with his oldest brother Earth, Mew had a 'parental' relationship with Max. Max is always the mature one out of the three of them, not that Earth was not mature, he just doesn't show it to Mew. Being the middle brother, Max surely maintained the balance between adventurous Earth and complex Mew.

Growing up, Earth hated being the eldest since his parents expected him to be a lot of things, and he did not want it. He did everything his parents wanted, from arts, music, academics, sports, politics, gambling, business, etc. But he was not happy, and was always craving for an adventure. When he was old and rich enough to build his own company, he left Bangkok and made an empire on Pattaya.

Meanwhile, when Mew was younger, he was always compared to his older brothers. He was given the hard time the most, especially when his mother knew that he was not straight. Max didn't like the way the psychologist was feeding false ideas on Mew that it was a flaw and wrong to be gay. Max wanted to save the sanity of his brother and decided take his parent's responsibility since they had utterly failed at being one.

Living with prejudiced and perfectionist parents are no easy and task and would always make you wonder if you'll be ever good enough. Parents like that will always expect you to be best even though they are not perfect themselves. But those parents also have their own reason, and most certainly they also have a weakness.

Mew called Max several times and only received a beep in response. Who would be awake in the wee hours of the night?

"Maybe I'm just tired. It's probably from the lack of sleep." Mew shook of his paranoia and tried closing his eyes. Only this time, sleep cradled him in its arms.

The loud sound of a notification echoed around the bedroom, and with it, light illuminated coming from Mew's phone.

Max: Mew? I'm sorry if I haven't picked up your call, I just woke up. If you're free tonight, I want to have dinner with you and your baby Gulf :)

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People bustled at the university, with high school seniors aiming to apply and students walked along the sideway. Gulf remembered the time when he was in their shoes, looking so amazed at the university with high hopes that he'll eventually be a college student.

The wide smiles of the high school students showed the fervor of youth, only that Gulf did not share their smiles. The music fest will start in the afternoon, and unluckily for their band, they have to perform first.

Gulf couldn't hear Mild and Win's loud chatter amongst the loud cafeteria noise. A spiral of thoughts invaded his mind, and he did not know which to tackle first. He did not know what came into his mind when he agreed being Bright's vocalist; he did not know if he could conquer his long time fear of performing and singing at a large crowd.