BJ Tharn [On-Going]

chapter 18

Chapter 18
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"Love is never wasted for its value does not rest upon reciprocity."
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Mew's eyes glued itself to the sleeping sight of his half naked lover. Despite the long day and their steamy making love session, sleep is not on his to do list. From time to time, insomnia would visit Mew; while his body craved rest, his brain thought otherwise.

Trapped in a state of haziness and daze, flashback of Gulf wearing red lace underwear with furry cat ears replayed on his mind. Mew remembering telling Gulf about this sexual fantasy of his when they drank at their apartment months ago, but he never imagined that his fantasy would turn into a reality.

Giving himself a chance to love is a decision he would forever thank himself for. Never in a million years he thought of falling in love and being in a serious relationship, yet here he is. utterly, madly in love. Yes, they fight over simple, mundane things especially when people confess to him or Gulf, but the end of the day, their bodies attract to each other like magnets and conclude it with making love.

Mountains and seas, albeit giving a sense of peacefulness, have a way of dilating time, slowing it as if allowing the people to indulge themselves deeply on nature. Hours ago, after talking and eating with Gulf's parents, they explored and walked through the sandy beach. With Earth splashing water to Mew like a child, Max's scolding, and Gulf's cheerful laughter, the day had started right almost comparable to in medias res of a fiction book.

He wanted to stop the moment, and paused the current page they were in, for the future held only uncertainties. And Mew doesn't like uncertainties one bit.

Being the big spoon, Mew pulled Gulf closer and kissed his forehead. A foreboding sensation coursed through his veins, a fear that he'd lose Gulf someday and he can't do anything to prevent it. The mere idea of losing his lover made his heart throb with ache, his vision blurring by the minute. With the months being with Gulf, Mew still feels that he does not deserve the love that he had receive; that Gulf is just way out of his league.

His mother's words repeated themselves, like an echo of negative thoughts. Despite the calm sea smelling breeze, and the quiet of the night, it did not give Mew any solitude and peace. A flurry of thoughts plagued his mind, as the clock continues its tick and tock.

Time passed and the clock read 3:55 A.M., the 31st of December. Moonlight flowed through Gulf's open glass window, illuminating both of them with a faint light. To Mew, Gulf looked different when he's asleep, beautiful but cold. He could only wish that the daylight would visit soon so he could see his lover's smile and chocolate eyes, full of life.

Mew decided that a glass of water may help his melancholic predicament. He slowly rose from the comfortable position of holding his lover close, and went downstairs. The cold water didn't calm his veins and when he turned around, his soul left his body. His eyes widened, hand pounding his chest as he tried to stop himself from choking on his water completely.                                                                                                                                 

Gulf's father stood sternly at the kitchen door, arms crossed. He had not intended to scare Mew out of his wits and he bit his tongue to stop himself from laughing at Mew's reaction. Shaun's face crunched up in displeasure as Mew coughed for the last time and greeted his soon to be father in law.

"Let's talk, Mew Suppasit. I was wondering when will you get thirsty."

When his wife had birthed Gulf and he first held his son, Shaun felt like he just won the lottery. He knew that he would love his son, but the sensation is different, a good kind. Pleasure, pride and greater love fueled his body as soon as he caught the sight of baby Gulf. From that day on, he promised to protect his son, his life be damned.