LET ME HATE YOU

New Day

"No, please......, I didn't do anything, I swear I didn't know"

Asmaira was crying in her sleep, mumbling unconsciously.

"Please......".

"Don't leave me, I am sorry, " she kept crying, holding herself together while lying on the floor wearing the same dress she wore for her wedding. Her hair was all messy, scattered here and there, shivering wildly, closed eyes. One look at her and anybody can guess she was in pain, yet she was in sleep. Her face was covered with incessant beads of sweat mixed with her tears. Not a day has passed when she didn't have nightmares since she heard that news. News which turned her world upside down. News which caused an invisible hole in her heart that never let her be at peace, the restlessness never left her since that day and no matter how much she tried she could never fill that hole. Never in her life has she been so helpless and to make it worse, her Savior was also not there with her.

"Raina....................." She screamed out, with trembling body, quivering lips and a continuous trail of tears mixed with her sweat, she woke up from her sleep. It took her time to come out of her trance back into reality. She placed a hand on her chest to calm the rapid heart beat. She was still lying on the floor exactly at the same place she was last night to hide from her husband.

Husband!

She came back to her senses and a new emotion replaced her. Fear.

The day she agreed to her marriage, that day she knew she lost everything. She knew every day she would have to face her fear, she knew she had to be strong to fulfill the promise, the promise she made to herself, as that was the only way she can fill the emptiness of her soul, the promise that will ease out the burden she has been continuously living in. No matter how much Amaan loathed her, she will still not give up. This time she was the only one to help herself, neither her sister nor her brother will come to her rescue. This time she has to take a stand for herself.

For the past 8 months she has been a coward running away from it, but now she can't. If she loses this time she can never forgive herself. She needed forgiveness from Raina, yet she can't get it. She knew it was too late to ask for forgiveness and she was no more with her to forgive. Nobody can understand what she was going through including her family, nobody knew why she agreed to the marriage, nobody knew her motive behind taking the decision. Everybody thought she changed, she changed into a woman who loved luxury, who depended on her rich husband to fulfill her dream, everybody, including her own father who knew her completely and she didn't bother to correct or explain to anyone. Because now she doesn't want to justify people, now she wants a solution to her emptiness and that can only be achieved by agreeing to marry Amaan.

With a cautious step she moved from the terrace towards the room, his room. Hiding behind the door, she surveyed the complete room to see any trace of him. She immediately looked at the bed to see whether he was still sleeping. She lost the track of the time and can only wish she was not late for her first day after marriage. Not that she was behaving like a shy newlywed but not to offend anybody in the mansion and spoil her plan.

To her surprise Amaan was nowhere to be seen. She tiptoed and walked towards the bathroom and the closet. Surprise!. No sign of him. She sighed with relief, 'you can't be so sure he won't come back, make it quick and get out of the room as quickly as possible'. With that thought she quickly grabbed her stuff which was all scattered on the floor, grabbed her suitcase which she used for carrying her things from her home. She stuffed everything in it and hid it near the closet door which was a blind spot much to her relief.

With trembling hands and rapid heart beat, she quickly took a shower, glancing towards the door every now and then, fearing that Amaan would pop up any minute. She was always a simple girl with no wish to doll herself up. She neither wants to give a good impression to her in-laws, nor wants to come out as an arrogant woman. Finally, she thought it was better to be herself than to pretend. With water still dripping from her hair, she dashed out of the room as she was already suffocated staying inside. She knew she was already late, but didn't know whether it was morning time or afternoon. When she stepped out of the room, she was welcomed with new confusion. The mansion was so big she stopped and looked like a lost puppy to look for direction or help. God knows which part of the mansion she was in and whom she should meet.