WICKED GAMES WITH THE MAFIA

GOODBYE

I held his hand, standing right next to the bed, my own heart breaking as I watched her chest move up and down. Never had I wanted to cry so much, watching her hold on to life with all she had. I squeezed his hand, his arms coming and bringing me to his chest where I lay my head looking at the women I had grown so fond of. Goodbye never being so hard, my whole body shaking as he held me tight in his embrace where I found my safe haven. He took a step, taking his grandma's hand and kissing it then taking a step back, not wanting to leave her but knowing he had to. I held on tighter giving him comfort, I hope, letting him know that it would all be okay.

"Let's go." His voice cut through the emotion as I nodded my head. My hand went over my neck in clipping the piece of jewellery I hardly took off, holding it in my hand, the tears flowing down my cheeks as I brought it to my lips, tearing from his hands and making my way to the bed where she lay looking so peaceful, the world having been unkind to her. I placed it around her neck, clipping in at her back and making sure it sat right around her neck.

My hands shook, my lips trembled as I took a step back, hands holding my shoulders and brushing them up and down, you would swear that she was my own grandma. I could not help but feel so as he turned me away, a kiss placed at the crown of my hair as we walked out of the door, it closing behind us as we made our way to the elevator that would take us down stairs.

We walked out the doors, the help waving goodbye at us and looking at grief just as we were. I waved at them, a smile gracing my face knowing that I would never see any of them again. A convoy of cars was waiting for us, black tinted cars. A door opened by the valour himself where I slipped in followed by Mr Rosewood. The door closed, the cars moving with me tucked to his side as we drove out of the compound. The cars taking us to the private airfield where we took the jet back to the States where nothing good was waiting for both of us.  A fleece blanket was on me as I sat on the chair, feet on the edge, knees up with legs caged by my arms and eyes watching him shamelessly as he worked on his laptop.

Flashes from last night had me turning red, my body under him as he took me again and again, worshiping my body in such a way that I saw the stars in the sky. My heart was heavy, so heavy my chest hurt just looking at him. I lay my throbbing head on my knees, closing my eyes, wishing for sleep to claim me but it refused, leaving me to drown in my sorrow missing his arms around me yet knowing that I had to be strong, had to leave him with everything behind me because I knew that I had to say goodbye but I had never been good at goodbyes. I was a clinger, holding on to what I had for dear life because life was short, waking up to realise everything you knew was gone leaving you alone in this cold harsh world.

I could already see him detach himself from me, burying himself in work, the mask slipped on again and leaving a cold surface to look at as my arms wrapped around my body. I sat there watching him, reminding myself of the time we had flew in, it seeming like years ago when it was just two weeks ago.
The flight attendant came checking on me as I assured her that I was okay, watching her walk back to her little cubicle not really feeling hungry but just cold, the cold gripped my soul leaving me pale and sick to my stomach, the fear coming back full force as I counted down the hours as we got near and near to the place I wished I could never see again.

It was in no time that the plane was landing, seeing him pick up all his work and putting it back in his laptop bag, his eyes flicking to me for the first time in a long time as I untangled myself, exhaustion plaguing me yet too scared and nervous to sleep. My eyes were sore, my hands shaking but I slipped out of the seat, folding the fleece and taking it with me as I walked passing him like he mentioned, following behind me.

"Thank you so much," I said giving the attendant the fleece back as she smiled.

"My pleasure Ma'am." I nodded my head, not able to hold the smile before turning and going down the steps, hearing his footsteps behind me. Another convoy waited for us, black tinted cars, the engine running and men standing ready to defend if must be, looking scary in every possible way. I took the last step, my feet patting the ground, the air seeming gluggy and suffocating. I looked back, seeing him behind me as I turned, making my way to the car with the door open for me. I slipped in as he slid next to me, his phone going off as soon as we sat in the car.

His voice was harsh, him totally a different people in all so I sat in my own seat, the seat belt buckled, watching as they took out our bags and quickly putting them in the car behind us. When done all the guards jumped in all the other cars, two getting into ours, the driving hitting the gear with the car moving soon, the trees flying as I watched them drift away and the plane left back, the whole trip done with us back to our sad reality. I felt cold and alone tortured, by my thoughts knowing what I was about to do not and being able to come to terms with it.

My arms around my body, the harsh voice the only thing being heard as he cut the call calling another. The cars took a turn, sliding into the high way and joining the speeding cars that speed through, my eyes taking in each car that passed, seeing the different types with nothing else to look, lost in my own thought.

It was an hour later when the cars pulled into my street, seeing my house and everything the same with nothing changed. I didn't want to get out, didn't want to get in there where nothing waited for me but sadness and loneliness yet I slipped out as my door was opened, looking back at him seeing him too carried away in his call to notice. I swallowed the lump in my throat, taking one good look and knowing that it was the last one I could take, my heart bleeding yet nothing could be done as I opened my mouth only to close it, deciding to walk away. The guard closed the door behind me, one already waiting with my luggage.

I could not believe this was goodbye, could not believe this was it.

I turned around, crossing the street, the guard following behind me as I dug my key getting to the door and opening it, ushering in and finding my house still as the last time I had left, small, cold and deserted. The guard walked in, placing the bags next to the door followed by the next guard until all my luggage was in, watching them turn away, walking down the steps leaving me there standing and watching as they ushered in the cars, moving and leaving me staring at the empty spot in the road. I could not believe he had not even spared me a goodbye but what was I even thinking, this was Mr Rosewood we were talking about, the evil monster. My heart could not stop bleeding though, crying out but what could I do. I closed the door behind me, taking all my luggage to my room where I unpacked it one by one, my equipment sitting in the bed and just waiting for me to sort it all out. When done I went to take a long bath, coming back to make some noodles before I got to work, nothing but him filling my thoughts.