When Autumn Leaves [SungJoy]

-epilogue-

Sungjae's POV

"Oppa, you don't have to come really. You're busy right?"

I arranged my cuffs, tucking the phone between my shoulder and cheek.

"I'll be there, my company knows already." Besides, it's on the contract. "I'm going to call later, I'm hanging up Yerim-a."

"Ne~ See you later oppa."

I hang up, letting go of my phone before I fixed my hair. First I'll meet with Changsub Hyung and Peniel then go where Yeri is.

The three of us met in a private cafe. I saw them immediately as soon as I came inside. I waved at them.

"Hello Mr. Actor, you're handsome as always." Changsub Hyung said as I sat down across them.

"Hyung stop it," I said but chuckled.

"Wae? Yah, everywhere I go I always see your face. Three years ago when you told us you want to be an actor, I couldn't imagine it but here you are now. I'm so happy for you."

I looked down grinning, "thanks."

"My girlfriend is a fan of yours, give me your sign later okay? I want to give it to her when she comes back from Canada." Peniel took a bond paper and pentel pen from his bag, pushing it towards me.

"Sure."

"Ah, me too!"

"You have a girlfriend now Hyung?" this is a surprise. 

"I will give it to my future girlfriend."

"eeyy!/eeyy!" Me and Peniel simultaneously reacted. 

"I know what you did there!"

The three of us laugh together. We talked about trivial things, Peniel works as a tour guide going from country to country, he met his girlfriend when he was assigned to Canada while Changsub Hyung is working as a store owner he inherited from his family and he's still single currently. As for me, I became an actor. I worked my ass off in those training and learning schools about acting and other stuff on the same company I had a part-time back then. 

I'm not into fame or money, Yeri and I are doing well on our own but I found out I liked acting, the process, and everything gets into me. I also wanted to interact with other people as well making me seem at least a little bit of human meaning, I'm starting to appreciate humanity and myself. 

These two were really surprised when I came running to them drenched from the rain and declared that I want to become an actor.

"When are you coming back anyway?"

"I want to be there for at least a week but I'll probably get only three days, I'm filming a movie."

They smiled understanding. We talked a lot more and said goodbye to them since I still have to drive there.

It's Autumn now,  the leaves were falling on the trees as I am nearing my destination. I stopped the car when I saw Yeri admiring the trees.

I went out from the car and watched them. Yeri holding the wheelchair with Sooyoung sitting on it. Sooyoung is wearing thick clothes with a blanket draped on her lap. She's staring at the leaves with an unreadable expression when she reached out to catch a leaf, I don't know why but it stung my eyes, lump forming in my throat.

Whenever I called at the hospital, the nurses always tell me about her condition and how her behavior changes. 

Dark circles surrounded her eyes and her hair is no longer red but it's pitch black now, making her look like mysterious I would say and withdrawn from the world. 

I started to walk towards them, as I walk near to them I couldn't help but recall our last heart to heart conversation, of her letting me go. I knew then she's giving me the freedom to leave with all her heart since she prepared for it already but I couldn't. I can't let go of the love of my life.  I'm scared and certainly not prepared but love isn't always sweet. 

Yes, you can easily fall in love but to stay in love is hard indeed. You have to keep searching for reasons but not me, the reason I love her still is because of her herself. Her disease won't disappear but that won't stop me at all. I'll keep our memories together and always remind her, it's okay if she forgets.

She made me realize a lot of things. 

Her smile contained her tears, sorrow, and pain, I want to take it all from her. 

"Oppa." Yeri said when he saw me. I smiled at them, my eyes red from trying not to cry. 

Yeri turned the wheelchair towards me so I could see my beloved's face fully. Sooyoung stared at me void of any emotion.

I kneeled one knee in front of her and took her hand gently on mine, caressing her ring finger. She refused to get married with me back then so I have to satisfy myself with this. 

I looked up to her smiling, "You watched my drama, right? I was so cool back there. You fell for me again, didn't you?" but she only looked at me with those empty eyes.

"She was frantic earlier so I took her here then she stopped being hysterical. She must like Autumn oppa, she's always silent when she sees the trees."

I nod my head, "I see."

"Isn't it hard oppa?"

"What is?"

"No, nevermind. Forget I said that, it's wrong of me." 

But I just shake my head. "It's okay." I stared at Sooyoung and smiled once again, thinking of an answer.

"I don't know. I don't remember."

I can only think about love.

And not even once have I thought that it's hard loving her.

-fin-