20: Words of a broken boy

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My entire boy felt heavy as though gravity had decided to amplify its tensional pull on humans as I woke up.

I was facing the ceiling wide awake and a bit confused. I glanced to my side where my alarm always is in my place only to find the table clock off. I reached out to tap it, feeling the surface for a button or a touch sensitive spot but it wasn't there.

"Don't bother I turned it off." I heard Ash's voice from behind and I turned to face him. "Thought you'd be wanting to wake up early to leave."

"It's a school day idiot!" I thundered and threw the pillow under my head at him to which he hardly dodged.

"My mother is hosting an emergency meeting with the teachers." He explained before glancing from his laptop to me. "She says we're closing for the rest of the week."

"What a waste." I rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms over my chest. "You will slack behind."

"I don't care." He shrugged his shoulders with a chuckle. "At least we get to spend the day together. Just us. No Peter."

".... I don't know..." I looked away, feeling uncomfortable.

"Please?" He asked as I felt his hand land on my elbow. "I want to use my chance."

"Just know I'm not sleeping here again. I need to be home before five." I explained and he nodded with a small smile before turning back to his computer. "What are you typing anyway."

"Just some things." He sighed before closing the laptop. "It's not a smart thing if that's what you're asking."

"Fair enough." I chuckled and he stood up from the bed, stretching himself in front of me purposely to expose his tight toned muscled body that almost seemed painful to stretch.

"Heading over to take a bath first. I won't be late." He said before disappearing off into the bathroom.

I waited for a few more seconds to pass before I heard the shower running. I quickly crawled to his side of the bed and grabbed the laptop from the stool beside the bed and opened it, to my surprise, it wasn't even locked and the document was wide open.

He clearly doesn't protect his privacy.

Shifting the mouse to the scroll bars, I moved it all the way to the top only to feel my chest tighten at the letters of my name larger than the rest in the centre of the page.

I scrolled down a bit to the next page only to stare at the words 'Riley I know you're snooping on my laptop'. Rolling my eyes, I proceeded to read.

I'm not good with poetry or any romantic thing either. Not good at talking to girls in the right way and not exactly knowing how to tell the truth behind my feelings.

There are countless girls I've met in my life and I've touched neither one of them. All of them shared a similar type of warmth---

Right. He's talking about girls.

Pervert.

--- that always felt the same, no matter who it was.

So I decided to play my cards right and play with all of them. I didn't care who they were or what they would go through after I explained that I didn't like them.... People can think I'm heartless. But I'm not.

Suddenly, like a button telling me to end my current life, Riley showed up and I swear I felt something. Something was definitely there because I fell head over heels for her.

She said it was infatuation and I wanted to believed her. She embarrassed me in front of the entire school, completely ignored me, hated the fact I even tried to talk to her and most of all, she hated the fact that I wasn't Peter.

I wanted to brush her off. As much as possible but every time I thought I finally forgot her, she would always come haunting me.

The girl who's completely out of my reach.

I'm not her type, that part I'm very aware of and I doubt she'd ever try to show the slightest liking to me with Peter living right across my room. Sometimes looking at him makes me feel disgusted. Mostly at myself.

This infatuation is starting to wear me down and I think I look like some desperate stalker willing to sacrifice everything for her.

I don't mind showing her my weakest side. If she asks a question, I'll answer without a second thought. Even if that question might dig up something I wanted to burry.

If I stand a chance---

It stops there, surprisingly and at that point I was unsure why he would be typing this anyway. Didn't look like he was trying to write a book and he wouldn't deliberately mention my name if he was. Unless he wanted people thinking I'm a cold hearted freak.

The door clicked from behind and I quickly closed the laptop and placed it back to the stool before I hurriedly crawled back to my spot as it opened, revealing a fresh looking Ash.

"You look human at least." I pointed out and he glanced at me for a moment before looking away and towards his closet.

"I meant it when I said you shouldn't read it." He suddenly spoke out and I tensed as I clenched my fists and stared at his twitching back.

"I didn't." I defended and he sighed as he turned, pulling out some jeans and a plain white shirt.

"I don't mind." He said before walking to the bed and laid out his clothes. "Like I said, I'm willing to expose things I shouldn't."

"You'll hurt yourself." I commented and he glanced at me with a weak smile.

"I trust you enough." He simply said before looking away. "You should take a bath. I have a lot to do with you today."

I clenched the blanket as I stared at his hair, still a bit annoyed that he felt so strongly about me when I haven't the slightest for him.

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