Dear Diary

Chapter 112

It was silent between Sophia and Luke as they pulled to a stop outside Sophia's house. Luke didn't want her to ride her bike by herself so, when he had taken her to his dad, he made her ride with him instead of on her own. He couldn't ignore the fact that he loved the feeling of her arms wrapped around him and the fact that he could feel the warmth through his jacket. It was a sign that she was still alive and with him.

Luke kicked down the stand peg and waited for a moment as Sophia uncurled herself from against his back and twisted her leg over the saddle to dismount. She hadn't uttered a word since the talk with his dad and Luke just hoped that she was thinking differently to how she did this morning.

"I'll come by tomorrow with my dad to drop off your bike, okay?" Luke spoke softly, and Sophia gave the smallest of nods as she stared at her house. 

She didn't want to go in there. She didn't want to be reminded of what nearly happened. But she knew she had to face it sometime.

Taking a deep breath, she mentally prepared herself to walk to her front-door when Luke spoke once more. 

"Um, Sophia?" 

She turned and watched Luke get an awkward look on his face as he fished for something in his pocket before offering it to her. Sophia recognised the necklace which Luke had given her for her birthday.

She knew his reason for offering the necklace back to her: he was worried about her. When he had given her the necklace it was to celebrate her birthday, a sign of life. When she had given it back to him, it had also in a way meant that she was rejecting the fact that she was living, that she didn't want to have been born and was better off dead. The necklace was, in some sense, a promise that she would keep fighting.

Sophia gave him a small smile and gently took the necklace from his hand. The barely audible sigh of relief did not escape her ears. Without another word, Sophia turned and walked up to her front-door, but she only entered once she heard Luke's bike move off into the distance. 

Tentatively, she stepped into the foyer and looked around. There was no sign that anyone had been here. Her father still hadn't come back, but she expected as much as she never saw his vehicle in the driveway.

Slow steps brought her to the staircase and she glanced to the side where the dining-room table was situated. Her gaze fell on the untouched food on the table. 

Sophia suddenly stumbled backwards as a wave of emotions hit her and she held a hand over her mouth to stifle the sob that chocked her. The realisation of everything that just happened hit her with such force that her knees buckled beneath her and she sank to her knees.

Curling to the point that her forehead touched the floor, tears blurred Sophia's vision as she weaved her fingers into her hair while also clutching onto the necklace in her palm. The pain in her chest was so unbearable that she felt as though someone was repeatedly stabbing her with a knife. 

"I-I can't do this anymore," she cried as she clenched her hands in her hair to the point it hurt.

"Please, I need your help. I don't have the strength to do this on my own," she chocked out as sobs wracked her body. 

The sheer intensity of her emotions and the fatigue of not sleeping in days made her collapse on her side as she buried her face in her hands. She had never cried so hard before in her life and for once she didn't care if her father walked in. She just wanted to be happy again.

"Please."

-

Sophia groaned as the sound of a robin singing outside hit her ears. She blinked as she slowly opened her eyes and it took them a moment to adjust. She was still lying on the floor in the hallway, her body curled up in a tight foetal ball. She blinked again and could feel the dried tears on her cheeks. She slowly uncurled herself and winced as her back clicked in multiple places along with the sensation of a numb leg and arm.