Dear Diary

Chapter 13

Today is the day I find out who my tutor is. To say that I'm nervous is an understatement, but I try to ease my anxiety by telling myself that this arrangement will help me. But then again, I can't understand maths to save my life. Not only that, but maths also happens to be the last lesson of the day on Mondays, which isn't calming my nerves either, and when I'm nervous I get clumsy.

I yelped in pain and immediately bit my lip as I pressed a hand to my hip that so politely wanted to chat to the sharp corner of my English desk.

"You okay?" Amy and Richard both asked as they looked at me. 

I gingerly nodded my head and placed my bag next to my feet and sat down in my seat. Problem with being short is that my hips always seem to align themselves perfectly with any sharp object. Something tall people wouldn't understand.

Cole was seated calmly in his seat, looking at the wall to his left. He positioned himself as if to say that he would rather be anywhere other than in this classroom. 

"Are you nervous for your results?" Amy asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I gave her a sheepish grin. "Is it that obvious?"

"Just because I've known you my whole life, yes," she replied. 

While I was born in April, Amy and Tyler were born at the end of the year. So, I was older than both my cousins by a good few months. Because it is quite rare to have three girl cousins born in the same year, my mom had a picture framed of the three of us as babies. Even then it was apparent how much I loved food as I had just started eating baby food and had a mouth and cheeks full of it in the picture.

Richard leaned forward in his desk. "Remember what I said yesterday," he said and I nodded.

"Don't worry. I'll see you in running today and tell you what happened."

-

Maths finally came around and I couldn't seem to keep still in my seat. I kept pulling at strands of hair that escaped my ponytail, which soon became knots that I would have to tear out. 

I was a mess, to put it lightly.

"Alright class, I'm going to hand out your tests and tell you what you need. Then we'll spend the rest of the lesson going over the questions, okay?" Mr Tuttle said and began handing out the papers. 

I kept biting the inside of my cheeks and felt my palms grow sweaty making me wipe them harshly on my black skirt.

"Anne," Mr Tuttle mumbled and handed her paper to her. "Elizabeth..." he trailed off and peered at me over his reading glasses. He handed me my paper. "I would like to see you after class," he said softly with gentle eyes and I gave him a timid nod. 

He moved on to the next student and I stared at my upturned paper. I didn't even want to look at the mark. Just from glancing at the back I could see massive red 'X's'. I glanced at Anne.

"How'd you do?" I asked trying to ignore my paper's existence as if that would make the mark disappear.

She nodded her head. "I did okay," she said. I knew she was trying to make me feel better by not gloating because I know she did better than 'okay'. "You?"

I bit my lip and refrained from ripping my paper in half. 

"The usual," I stated and tried to shrug off the feeling that only came with a bad mark. 

One thing I know is that if you make a fuss it will only cause attention. Maybe that's why people always thought I did well? I was quite good at hiding what I was really feeling. I saw Anne's eyes soften in pity and I felt my fists clench.

I love Anne, don't get me wrong, but I hate pity. I don't want it from anyone, no matter how bad things are.

Mr Tuttle finished handing out the papers and I forced myself to turn over my own. A big, fat 'F' in red ink shone on the top right-hand corner. I quickly flipped my paper back over, hoping no-one saw it.

-

After an eternity of torture later the bell finally rang. Knowing I had to stay behind I was slow to pack away my things as I waited for the students to filter out the room, not making it obvious that I had to stay behind after class finished. Anne and I said our goodbyes and soon it was just Mr Tuttle and I in the classroom, or so I thought. 

I took a deep breath and tried to steel my mind for what was going to unfold.

My hands shook as I walked up to Mr Tuttle's desk and I ended up having to hide them behind my back. 

"Yes, Mr Tuttle?" I asked timidly and he looked up from the papers on his desk.

"Ah, Elizabeth," he began and leaned back in his seat. He sent me a kind smile which put my nerves at ease only a little. "I figure you already know why I asked you to stay behind?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Well, I also did so because I want to make sure that you begin your tutoring as soon as possible. You are aware of the fact that you are failing my class and so I've decided to discuss tuition times with both you and your tutor together so that you can come to an agreement. That way you have more time to focus on your problem areas."

I knew he wanted to say all areas. Every area was a problem for me.

"And who is my tutor, sir?"

Mr Tuttle glanced behind me and I turned as well. My eyes widened when I noticed someone still seated in one of the desks at the back of the classroom. His impassive gaze stared straight at my shocked expression.

"Cole, would you mind coming here?" Mr Tuttle asked and I felt my whole body freeze.

Oh no.