𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 || rini au

03. the less i know, the better

𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱, "𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗼𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿,

𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗲'𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿"

𝗶 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱, "𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿

𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿,"

== r i c k y 's p o v ==

what do i even say?? where do i even start?! nini hasn't said a word to me while we've been making our way towards the plane. is she expecting me to say something first? of course she is.

"so..how have you been?" i say awkwardly as we sit across from each other on the jet. filmore graves is a very wealthy organization, and it's pretty apparent by how expensive these planes are. i wait a second for her to respond, but she doesn't. she's not talking to me. i get it.

"can we please at least be civil about this? and talk to each other? we're in this together, and if we don't communicate-"

"fine. i'm great. amazing. never been better."

look, i don't blame her for what she did. i would've cut me off and moved away too. i just want things to go back to how they used to be. seeing her here, now--it's weird, you know? it's like she never left. but it's also like she's been gone for forever?

"nini, i just want you to know how sorry i am. about everything that happened. you put everything out on the line, and i was a fucking jerk. okay?"

"yeah, you were," she laughs. laughing is good, right?

== n i n i 's p o v ==

is he expecting me to just instantly forgive him and be besties with him now, or something? because that's not how this is going to work. i'm older now. he can't just have me wrapped around his finger anymore. i'm my own person.

"so..i didn't know you were in the program. how did that happen?" i say after at least an hour of silence. the plane ride is a long one, and i guess i'm stuck with him.

"oh, my mom was really involved in it," he says with his classic ricky bowen smile. ugh. that's not gonna work this time.

"one of mine was too. and my dad."

"so, what are you doing now?"

"oh, i moved to los angeles with kourt."

"i've been staying in jacksonville."

"that explains a lot."

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"nothing."

i look out the window at the clouds, enjoying the view. this is nice. i just have to pretend like ricky isn't here for the rest of the mission, and everything will be fine. i'll just keep doing what i've been doing for the past eight years--pretending like it didn't happen. just mashing down all of those thoughts and feelings about him. it's easy. and it works.

== r i c k y 's p o v ==

it's not like i didn't try and reach out to her, okay? i very much did. like, without context, i would've looked borderline stalkerish. after a while, i just kind of gave up trying.

i've kicked myself everyday since that night in her room, and i just want her to know how bad i feel. it's not that i didn't not love her, i just wasn't ready to say it then. that wasn't even something my parents ever said to each other. how was i supposed to know how to react? that's not me making excuses for myself or anything, though. i know i should have said it. no, i should've done more than say it. i can tell just by having spent a few hours with her that she's changed. and it's all because of me. i know i really hurt her.