Just Breathe (Robbie X Reader Oneshot)

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Inspired by a mixture of @emmaotionally requesting more Robbie stuff and my own very recent meltdown (recently as in I just had it and now I'm writing this because I'm depraved 🤘). Also, 90K?! Are you guys joshing me?!! Thank you so much, legit my gratitude at you liking my work cannot be expressed in writing (ironically) 💕💕

Your phone starts to tremble in your hand, making it seem distorted in your near blurry vision. You try to rationalise it in your mind to make it seem like nothing to make drama about - it's only a simple text conversation with your brother, it's just like any other conversation you'd have with him, why is this one getting you all het up you stupid drama queen - but the panicked and anxious side of your brain instantly lashes out and begins to believe every false insult he just hurled at you.

In an effort to make your hand stop trembling, your whole arm starts shaking instead, waking your boyfriend Robbie up from his sleep. As he moans sleepily behind you from where you're wrapped up under the blankets like spoons in a cutlery drawer, you silently curse yourself for waking him up which adds to your already self-deprecating train of thought. You try to not make a sound so he can go back to sleep, but you can't stop your gaping breaths that sound to you like a whale gasping for breath. It makes you feel even more idiotic.

Robbie grunts softly, pulls you tighter, and in a peaceful tone asks, "Are you okay, Sugar Walnut?"
At the totally ridiculous nickname he gave you early into your relationship, you snort slightly to try and distract yourself, but it just comes out as more silent sobs that rack your body.

Robbie registers your sobs and how shaky your body is, and his head pops up, face just about visible between curls of mad hair. He taps your shoulder and you suppress a breath and turn to him, sniffing hard to try in vain to cover up your pain.
It doesn't work. He immediately pulls you round to properly face him and slips his arm round your waist whilst placing the other on your face to delicately wipe away the abundant amount of tears covering you.

"Sugar Walnut, what is it?"
You close and open your eyes, close and open, close and open several times trying to get your breathing under control. After a few more times you give up trying to seem calm to him and just about manage to get out, your voice cracking, "My brother and I had a fight again."

Robbie looks stricken and asks politely to see your phone, and you hand it over without a word. He types in your password which he knows off by heart and when he sees your brother's messages to you condemning your lifestyle and insisting your life is worthless and that's why you choose to irritate him, his face expresses clear disappointment.

He turns off the phone completely and turns to you, pulling you in closer to him until your legs are interwoven.
He strokes your face as more hot tears seep out, and mumbles soothingly, "He doesn't know what he's saying,    Y/N."

"That doesn't mean it's not true," you gurgle out through hard sniffs, "what if he's right, and I really don't have a future? What if my acting career doesn't go anywhere? What if being with you really is wrong?"
"Please, don't ever think any of those. Your brother is a drunk, he still lives with your parents, he's a single father and his life has gone nowhere, so he decides to lash out at you. It's always the case, and you know this deep down, you just have to remember it right now."

You struggle to breathe in enough to talk, tears sliding into your mouth. "You don't know that Robbie. All I wanted to do... all I ever want to do is help him, and help my parents - but every single time they all push my away. I just want to be part of a normal family, I just want my family to be normal. That's not something to be hated for, is it?"

"No, it's not," he replies softly as he draws your head into his slender chest, covering your head with his hand and stroking your hair comfortingly.
You hear him through your ears pressed against his body saying, "But you left that family, Y/N. You're not a part of that toxic place anymore, and you never have to go back. You're a part of my family now, and the family at Hollywood Arts, and we're better for you. Don't even try to help them, because they'll never accept it - that's just how they are. And it's not your responsibility to be dragged down with them. It's your responsibility to be a normal carefree teenager. Okay, Sugar Walnut?"

The two of you stay in this small huddled position for minutes, you slowly normalising your breathing pattern and Robbie all the while stroking your hair and holding you by your waist delicately.

Eventually you have enough breath to pull away and try to make you both happy again by commenting, "You know, Rex is gonna be real pissed when he finds out you've been hugging me and not him at night."
He smiles at you in relief in the dark and offers the ghost of a laugh, replying, "Thank God he can't see through the drawer we put him in."
"Yeah, you're gonna have a surprise when you go to get clean underpants in the morning," you feebly joke, and Robbie laughs silently again and pulls you closer until you're both pressed against each other, mirror opposites lying in bed.

You lick your lips to take away the dryness in your mouth from your meltdown, and whisper into his neck, "Thanks Robbie. I love you."

And just like every time you say those three little words, his Adam's apple bobs up and down from his disbelief, and he wheezes slightly and says quietly, "I love you too. Y/N. Goodnight."

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