Victorious Preferences [COMPLETED]

Meeting The Crazy Lady (André X Reader Oneshot)

Requested by Thatone_tallchick - you meet André's grandmother for the first time, and you best believe things are gonna get weird!

By the way, this is the 90th chapter everyone, so remember that after this there are only ten more! 🕺🏽

"Grandma! I'm back from school, and I brought someone!" your new boyfriend André shouts when he opens the front door into the house he and his grandmother live in, and gestures for you to go in first. You do so, and marvel at the normalcy of the sitting room amidst the musical equipment and music sheets - you thought André had said that his grandma was odd? So far this house looks fine.

But as soon as you hear an enormous clatter and a shocked shout from the kitchen, you know it's really not fine.

You and André exchange panicked looks before slamming the door shut and dashing into the kitchen, only to find an old black woman cowering in the corner next to an open cupboard filled with falling pots and pans. She has a terrified look on her face, and at the sight of his grandmother scared André runs to her and holds her hand, crouching down to meet her.

"Grandma, what is it?"
"There's a face in that cupboard - he's tryna kill me!" his grandmother exclaims, pointing a wrinkled finger to the cupboard. André turns to you with his eyebrows raised, and you crouch down next to him and look in the cupboard together.

There isn't anything in there: just a whole load of pots and pans, as there should be. André glances at his grandmother and rolls his eyes tiredly, then gradually starts taking out every pan to show her that there's nothing there.
At every pan the woman's face grows more cartoonishly frightened, and you begin to wonder if she usually needs to take medicine around this time every day.

Finally the last pot is wedged out from its place propped up right at the end, and as your boyfriend shows it to her, she starts and jumps up, surprisingly lithely for somebody of her age.
"The man, André! The man's gonna get me!"
André sighs before replying, "It's a pot, Grandma!"
"Can't you see his face, André! He wants to kill me!" she replies louder than anyone you've heard in your entire life, now on the other side of the room hiding partially behind the doorframe to the sitting room.

You peer closer at the pot and still can't make out anything. You look up to André, who's tutting and peering the same as you.
"I don't even know how she thinks it's a face," he whispers so his grandma can't hear him, "it's just a pot that was propped up. Usually it's at least something moving, like herself in the mirror or the ceiling fan."

You furrow your brows, meaning to ask what's up with his grandmother, but before you say anything you turn round to see the old woman coming back into the kitchen, reeling on her stubby ankles.

"André! André! There's somebody in the window!"

Just as quick as she comes in she sets off again, so fast you worry that she might topple over, and shouts, "She's there! Oh no you don't - get out of my house!"

Your boyfriend facepalms, takes you hand, and walks you into the sitting room where she is threatening her reflection in a mirror. Every time she moves forward, her reflection gets bigger and causes her to shrink back, which seems to make her think her reflection is scared of her so advances to threaten again, and the cycle continues.

André just watches with a mildly irritated and matter-of-fact expression, so you tug on his hand. He looks to you.
You ask, "So, she does this a lot, huh?"

"Yeah," he replies tiredly with a hint of annoyance, but mostly fondness for his dear crazy grandmother. "She did a lot of drugs in the 60s and 70s, and now she doesn't even know that the vacuum cleaner is an inanimate object."