Chapter 35

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Edited: 8/10/2020

Four POV:

Izzy is Tris. She seemed so much like her and it turns out it was her. It's hard because I though Izzy was her own person and now that I know she is Tris I love her. She seemed like a new transfer that I wouldn't talk to after she finished initiation, but now she is Tris and that makes her so much more. 

I know that Tris left and that I should be mad that she was gone, but I am mad that I wasn't asked to come. I am more mad at myself for making her think that she was the reason for everything going wrong. I can't change how she feels and I wish she wasn't mad at me. She said we could be friends but she loves me. That makes it harder. 

When she revealed herself yesterday I was really suprised, but as soon as it registered all I felt was relief. I am glad she is back, but I agree with what she said. We both need time and being friends could be good for us.

Tris POV:

Kylie woke up that night. I cannot believe that I thought I could trust her. She hurt me more then just breaking my knee. What is even worse is that I am the reason she was able to win fights and could move on. When she woke up she came running into the dining hall where I was sitting with the group including Four. 

What she said to them was, "Izzy is a fake. She is Tris Pedrad and she has been hiding and lying about herself this entire time." 

Christina responded with, "Okay, cool."

Uriah said, "Oh, that's nice." 

Kylie was so confused which in a couple of seconds turned to anger. She didn't understand why they didn't react badly to the fact that I was Tris. She stormed out of the dining hall after throwing her tray at me. I ducked and it hit Max. She got into a lot of trouble and now she is on very thin ice. 

Kylie and I's friendship is over. There is nothing to say or do that could change that. I can't be friends with her nor do I want to. I still can't get over the fact that she would break my knee and then would go and try to reveal my secret. I am okay with losing her though. If it took losing her to get everyone else back than I would be okay with it everytime. I kinda got Four back, but It will be just as friends for now. 

It has almost always been weird as friends. Before we started dating it was always weird and we kept hurting each other. We dated for a year and we got along fine sometimes and others we couldn't do it. I wonder if part of is me still. I know he lied about not looking at me and feeling jealous, but I had caused both of those things to happen. I am still at fault if I think about it and then maybe we were just not ready to be in a relationship.

I wish there was a way to know if Four and I got together again if it would work out this time or not. I know more of who I am now and I know much I need everyone that I have and how much I still need him and care about him. I don't know if I can handle being friends, but if he got into a relationship with someone else I know I wouldn't be able to handle it. 

If we did get back into a relationship we would have to be more honest with each other and not keep any secrets. When we disagree on something we need to work it out and not avoid the problem. We need to care about how the other feels and not just quit when it gets hard sometimes. I think if we worked on those things we would be good. Our relationship was amazing a lot of the time though. Just got a little rocky towards the end, but we were both really stressed out. 

I guess I do want to be with him again if I am thinking about this as throughly as I am. Just maybe we should wait until after my initation. I need to talk to him though. I hear someone snapping and I snap out of my thoughts. 

Christina was snapping and waving her hand in front of my face. "Are you okay? You have been zoned out for a while." 

"Oh, yeah I am good." I say. 

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