Chapter 9 page 1 - Unwelcoming Home

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May 2003

My acceptance to University iTM is like a revelation descending from a higher authority without me wanting it. In fact, all of the important choices in my life aren't autonomous. Had I not been forced by Dad into taking science stream subjects prior to my SPM exams, my results might not have ended up with just one A for English while having a couple of Bs, Cs and Ds for other subjects.

Dad had already given up on me like I'm a complete failure. He avoids direct communication with me ever since, only through Maheera and Mom as our mediums. He would walk past me without a word nor an eye contact like I don't exist.

And it repelled him more when I got a placement at University iTM, not an international institution Dad had envisioned his children would continue their studies at. And no matter how reputable, Dad calls it a 'squalid institution' for being local. But he finally capitulates to Mom's decision to place me there since it's Mom's alma mater and a close friend of hers who is the Head of Registrar can make my application surpass without screening.

This is reality; if you can't break through the wall, you need connections to get in.

As I reread the offer letter with much apprehension, I come to terms with my fate as a Business Diploma student who will thrive through the twists and turns of hard core student life in South Branch Campus located within the rural, cowboy town of Segamat Johor, three hours' drive away from Kuala Lumpur.

               😫😩😣😖🤮😤😞😓

Sabina greets me into her house as a guest today, not as a babysitter. My visit this time is for different purposes; to announce the news of my enrolment and to cordially tender my service.

"Come in, please. Saint's in his room, getting himself clean after I said you're coming over. I'm going out to get some breakfast. You know what to do," Sabina informs as we both cheek kissing before she leaves us alone.

Despite being here for as long as I can remember until it becomes my second home, today it feels different. Like this couch I used to lounge on has some stiffness to it, the arrangement of spices on the countertop is no longer familiar to me, I feel odd entering into this garden balcony unaccompanied, the guest room I used to sleep in becomes alien to me. I just don't feel this home is welcoming me anymore. Or maybe it's in its transition of moving on with my departure.

I heard Saint's faint voice calling me from the hallway, presumably from his room so I detach myself from this uninviting couch and amble straight towards his room.

"Saint, are you in there?" I knock on his half opened bedroom door but the room is empty. I push the door slightly further inwards before peering into the room, only to find filthiness has taken over, making this room to look like it had just been run over by a vicious tornado. Filthiness plasters a wicked smile, challenging me for a duel.

That's when I decide to unconsciously put on my babysitter's armour to slay this hypothetical monster by tidying up this room. First, I store all of the clutters on the floor into his Toyogo plastic container box. Then, I toss his duvet and pillows on the floor, straighten the bedsheets before placing them back onto the bed in its proper arrangement. I admit, the bedsheet has a niff to it as though it has never been washed at all. But I've successfully defeated filthiness and evacuated it from this room turning it into what a bedroom should look like.

 But I've successfully defeated filthiness and evacuated it from this room turning it into what a bedroom should look like

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