Milliseconds Of Doom

Simula

"Time of death, 8:23 pm."

I let the nurse write what I dictate, I walked slowly away from my patient. I removed my mask and my surgical gloves.

"Doc, kumusta na po ang anak ko?"

Her mother approached me, I held her shoulders and I pursed my lips. I don't know how to tell her, I don't want her to feel sad but this is the reality...

"S-She's gone," I said, "I-I'm sorry, We did our best.."

My voice cracked because of the pain I felt inside, this is so bad! I really hate this because when you're a doctor, you need to hold back your tears. You have to hide what you truly felt, so people won't notice it and to not affect your job.

They all started to cry and I get the chance to walked away, I walked away not because I feel uncomfortable. I walked away because it kills me to see them crying because just like them, Gabby is also a part of my life.

I really don't know why this things happened to me, last time I lost my dog and then now, I lost the sweetest patient I had.

She's Gabby, She's a cancer patient. She's in stage 4 and She just have a remaining time to enjoy her life. I did everything I can to save her but it's too late, her body gave up and I can't do anything about it.

It's her time to be with God and I can't change the fate.

I fixed my things and I immediately walked outside the hospital, I entered my car and I started the engine.

I can't stand with the emotions anymore, it's heavy and I need to cool down before I talk to anyone.

"Doc!" I stopped, "Doc, may package po ulit kayo."

I nod at her and I held the box, it's the same person. Same annoying person, I throw the box in the trash bin and I started to drive away from the hospital.

It's my ex-boyfriend, trying to win me back when I became a doctor. That gold digger.

I stopped in the nearest convenience store and I bought 2 cans of beer. I went to the side of the river and I sat down to the cement railing.

The pain when my dog died was heavy and it became heavier when my patient died.

It hurts to see your favorite patient dying in your arms, and there you are, you can't even do anything about it. I can't even save her...

I took a sip on my beer and I sighed, "Fuck this life," I murmured

I stopped when my phone rang, I looked at it and it's Dad.

"Daddy..." I said

"How's my Princess?" He asked, I think He noticed my sighs. He really knows me better than anyone else.

I sighed, "I'm sad, Dad..."

"Okay, We'll go home right now. Where are you?"

"Hospital," I lied

I don't want him to worry about me, I just want to breathe and let go of these emotions I feel inside.

"I'll just book our flight and we're going home." I didn't replied, "Don't worry, My Princess. Everything happens for a reason, your knight is coming. I'll give you a great hug to protect you from sadness, okay?"

I automatically smiled, "I love you, Dad."

"I love you," He said and I ended the call