Someone Will Remember Us

Hurt People Just Hurt More People

Chapter Twenty-Four

Estella didn't stay the night at Scott's house, all of us agreed that it would be better for her to go back home.

She's been back there for a few days now.

She's supposed to text me when dad has finally calmed down a little and it's safe to come back. But it's Sunday and I'm still waiting for a text.

She brought some of my stuff over late last night so dad wouldn't catch her. She packed some clothes, school work and some toiletries into a bag and she brought them to Scott's house.

I was supposed to be sleeping when she came over but I woke up when I felt Scott get out of bed and then the sound of the front door opening. 'Stella was just supposed to drop the bag off and go back home but she stayed for some time. I don't want to know what she and Scott talked about.

Scott's parents don't ask me a lot of questions but I know that they question Scott when they think I'm not looking.

I told Scott that I can find another place if I'm causing problems but he told me that he's not letting me go anywhere. And then I heard him argue with his parents in the kitchen.

All that bullshit I said about Scott not being family...What the fuck was I thinking? This guy is my fucking brother and I don't know what I'd do without him.

Charlie knows by now, he's even offered to let me stay at his house if Scott's parents have enough of me.

Everyone's looking out for me.

It's Monday tomorrow. Actually, it might be Monday already. I'm not sure. I just know that I have to go to school soon.

School. After everything that's happened school doesn't even seem real anymore.

I've wanted to call Winston so many times. But every time I see his number on the screen, I remember my last conversation with him and I put my phone away.

I can't remember the last time I slept properly. Not since that night at the carnival.

I wonder if he's having trouble sleeping too. If he also stays awake for hours at night looking up at his ceiling and remembering all the memories we've shared.

It was all real and it was the best.

I wonder if he ever hugs his pillow, the one on the right side because that's where I sleep, and if he wishes I was there with him. I wonder if he replays every conversation we've ever had and if he wishes we could have said something else. I wonder if he misses me.

I know I fucking miss him and doing all that stupid shit doesn't help.

I've been sleeping in Scott's bed ever since Wednesday night. Sometimes he stays awake with me and he encourages me to talk but I say nothing. Sometimes he stays up until I pretend that I'm sleeping and sometimes he goes to bed before me because he knows that I prefer just sitting there and thinking about all the messes I've made.

Sometimes I close my eyes and I lay there and I try to imagine Winn laying in his own bed, in the same exact position as me and I try to imagine what he's feeling right now.

It starts off well, but then someone else enters the room and he gets into bed with him. And Winston cuddles up to this faceless guy the same way he used to cuddle up to me. He puts his head on the guy's chest and he throws his arm over the guy's middle and they fall asleep together. The faceless guy who was in his living room the day I came to see him.

I'm sure he was just a friend. Because who else could it be? He wouldn't just fuck some random guy not even a week after we have a fight. He wouldn't, it's not like him.