Green with envy | Wicked | Book 1/3

Nessa

I'm back from the doctors with the worst news imaginable.
My arm is broken.
Now I can't do anything.
Anything at all.
My head is pounding, doctor said I have a concussion and that it would take a couple hours to go away.
I hated going to the doctors, I was sat in my chair with a sling on and an ice pack balanced on my head.
I looked stupid.
I still look stupid.

Elphie is sat on the sofa with me, father put me on our sofa with the hopes I'd go to sleep but I'm restless.
Father won't leave the room.
"Nessa how are you feeling?" Elphaba asks,
I ignore her and stare straight ahead,
Elphie tried to hold my hand.
But I tug it away but the force of me doing that sends me falling onto my side, Elphie jumps up to help me.
I look at her mournfully.
Without asking she picks me up and puts me down into my wheelchair.
I sit here dumbly.
I can't even move myself.

Father comes back inside with a blanket that he wraps round my legs.
"Nessa I'm so sorry for shouting at you, you truly didn't deserve it" he says for the hundredth time.
I don't want to hear it anymore.

All I want is to stop crying, my face is all red and horrible, my eyes look Sunken in and gross.
"Elphaba, take your sister outside so she can get some fresh air" father commands.
Elphaba stands up obediently and grabs the handles on my chair and takes me out into the garden.
I remain speechless.
I don't want to talk to anyone.
The fresh air feels nice, it's quite relaxing after being cooped up inside your house for ages.
"Nessa, please talk to me, father isn't here you can say anything" Elphaba pleads.
I stare back at her blankly.
Until I finally have something to say.
"What do I do now Elphie?" I say pathetically
"I don't understand"
"I thought I was pitiful before, well now look at me"
Elphaba looks down at her feet.
"I'm so angry with myself" I whisper "father said that my chair nearly fell and killed me, that's what he shouted at me for"
My voice shakes, I wish I had died.
I know that's a horrible thing to say but I don't care.
What kind of sorry life is this?

The cool breeze stings my red eyes.
I use my good arm and turn myself away from the wind.
That's all I can do.
Turn.
"Want to go back inside?" Elphie asks meekly.
I shake my head moodily.
Elphaba sighs and sits down beside me, she plays with her hair for a bit.

All of a sudden a football flys over the fence towards me,
Elphabas abilities come out as I'm whisked out of the way at alarming speed.
I cry out as I'm moving away.
"I'm so sorry Nessa!" Elphie exclaims, rushing over to check if I'm okay.
"It's fine." I answer back grumpily "you can take me back inside now"
Elphaba grabs my handles and pushes me back up the ramp and inside.
Father is there waiting for us.
He outstretches his arms and Elphie wheels me over to him.
He picks me up and sits me on his knee.
I don't protest.
I love my father and he loves me and nothing is ever going to change that, not even this stupid broken arm.

After a while Elphaba goes upstairs to get ready for bed.
I rock myself slightly so I fall into fathers chest.
He clings to me tightly.
And I try to just close my eyes and sleep.
I wake up from the sudden feeling of my father stroking me.
"Nessa, your in bed my darling" He says gently.
I look around, Elphie is asleep.
I lie In bed just staring up at the ceiling, overthinking the advents of the past few days.
"Elphie are you awake?"
No reply.
I feel trapped in my own house.
I'm such an idiot, why did I have to fall down those stupid stairs.
I'm never going near them again.
I've already been up and down them once today and it was terrifying.
I put my good hand up to my cheek.
It's still wet from crying so much.
I try to go to sleep but I'm just so wide awake.

I've just been staring at the ceiling, wondering how long my arm will stay broken.
The doctor said that I wasn't too bad so it should be okay in a few weeks.
A few weeks.
I don't know if I can wait that long.
I'm so desperate to be able to push myself around.
My head has finally stopped hurting and
I must look even more pathetic than ever, it's not fair.
I continue to stare at the ceiling, it's painted above my bed, there's a beautiful blue sky with clouds and kites flying in it.
Father had it painted so I have something to look at when I'm in bed but I've seen it so many times it's not interesting anymore.
This room is so silent and so dark, the only light is a small slither coming from our adjacent door.
Elphie taught me that word.
Adjacent
I hear her stir in her sleep, I wonder what she's dreaming of, I hope it's not a nightmare, I get nightmares sometimes and they scare me so much.
I find it quite hard to calm down once something has stressed me out.
That's probably another reason why people call me a brat.
I try my hardest not to be one, but it's hard when people have to do everything for you.

I can feel myself getting sleepy, I decide the help myself relax by counting the clouds on the ceiling.
There's 37, I know that because I count them a lot.
I find it hard to sleep on my back.
Elphie has tried before and she says it's impossible.
But if I try to lie in my side I usually fall into my stomach and have to shout for help.
So I just lie on my back and put up with it,  it's not the worst thing I have to put up with, the worst thing is this stupid sling, it's making my neck itch and I can't scratch it.
The sling just makes me look stupid, they don't make them small enough for me in munchkin land, so I have an teen one and it's really baggy and uncomfortable.

I close my eyes and try to sleep.