Green with envy | Wicked | Book 1/3

Nessa

I've just had my first ever music lesson, it was amazing.
Some of my classmates offered to teach me some extra things that I didn't know. 
I finally feel like I'm part of something.
I'm in mine and Madame Morribles chamber, one of the girls from music offered to let me come back to her dorm and hang out with her and her roommate but I was feeling to tired so I declined.
I wheel myself over to the piano and begin to practice, perhaps learning piano was a good idea, now I feel like I have some friends.
I would love to be friends with Glinda, Elphie doesn't realise how lucky she is being her roommate.
I couldn't imagine living in the same room as the most popular girl in school and not enjoying it.
I'd love to be her roommate, but the task of looking after me stops being whimsical really fast.
I wish I wasn't so difficult.
I do miss staying with Elphie, staying with Madame Morrible makes me feel more isolated, but at least it means that she won't judge me.
No one judges me, they just pity me.
It's humiliating, I just want someone to see me as me and not some pathetic cripple.
Father hates that word.
Cripple.
He used to take away my dolls if i called myself that, he'd always give them back once I'd start to cry though but I did stop using the word.

The door opens behind me, I hate not being able to turn around fast enough to see who it is straight away.
"Nessa" I hear Madame Morribles voice call out.
I stop playing and tediously turn myself round.
"Miss Lybridge says you did very well in music today"
I smile at her,
"Are you stopping long?" I ask politely, it gets awfully lonely here by myself.
"Sadly not dear, just popped back in to check up on you, your father keeps writing me letters and I'm not one to disappoint"
I blush, I'm not a child I don't need looking after like one.

Madame Morrible leaves after putting a plate of biscuits in front of me on a table.
I leave the plate full and go into my room.
I pull out a pen and a sheet of paper.
Elphie mentioned that she had written a letter for father, so why shouldn't I?

Dear father,
School is wonderful, the principal makes sure I'm always alright.
Music is going well, I haven't made any proper friends yet but I'm sure I will.
All in good time.
I hope everything is alright at home.
Love Nessarose.

It's short, but I don't want to wright some soppy childish letter, now I have to figure out a way to post it.
I put the letter in my pocket and push myself back into the lounge area and out of the dorm door.

I make my way slowly out into the courtyard.
I feel small again, I'm never usually alone, Elphaba is always with me.
"Hey Nessa, over here!" A friendly voice calls.
I turn myself in the direction of the sound half expecting to see one of the people from my music calls.
Instead I see Glinda rushing towards me,
"Glinda, how lovely to see you again" I say dumbly, Glinda laughs, some of the other girls she was stood with come over to join us.
"Everyone this is Nessarose, she's the little sister of my roommate" Glinda says turning to everyone in our little circle.
I hear a couple people say hello to me.
"You look lost, where are you trying to get to?" Glinda asks, straightening her hat, she has the most beautiful blond hair and it's only made nicer with the addition of a simple yet elegant white beret.
"I'm trying to post a letter that a wrote for my father" I say timidly, that must make me sound awfully childish.
Half expecting to be laughed at, I place my hand over my pocket protectively.
"How coincidental, I love Wrighting letters to my mumsie and pops" Glinda says exitedly, "how about I take you to the letter box?"
I smile at her,
"That would be wonderful" I reply sweetly.
I hear a couple people whisper how kind Glindas being.
She is kind, I wish I could be more like her.
Glinda takes my handles and pushes me towards the gate that we entered through.
"Here we are!" Glinda exclaims,
There's a large green box build into the fence, I push myself up to it,
The box seems to be just out of reach.
Galinda rushes over and does it for me.
I feel so stupid.
"Thanks Glinda" I say smiling.
"Want me to take you back to your dorm?" She asks,
"That would be great" I say breathing heavily.

After Glinda has taken me back to my dorm, I thank her again and let her leave me just outside the door, I don't want a repeat of what happened with Elphaba.
I don't get what Elphie can't like about her, she's so nice, whether it's out of pity or not,
I don't care.
I hear Glinda walking away, her shoes tapping against the glossy wooden floor, I open the door and push myself inside.
Thankfully it shuts behind me so I don't have to go through the hassle of turning myself around.
I push myself into my room, Madame Morrible made the stupid decision of putting a floor length mirror in my room.
I wheel myself over to it.
She's put it there so I can check my outfit, but I only use it to pick out what I hate about myself.

I stare down at my useless legs, the root of my misery, I make my way up to my waist.
It's not small enough, Glinda has such a small waist and such dainty little feet.
I look at my face and my hair.
I'm boring, simple and just plain awkward.
I examine my hands, they are covered in callouses.
Glindas aren't.
Glinda is perfect
There's no wonder that not one would see me romantically, I'm just not that type of girl.
People say I'm tragically beautiful,
Tragic.
Well that's one word for me.