Green with envy | Wicked | Book 1/3

Elphie

(This chapter takes place after Elphaba has ran away from the wizard/ beginning of act two)

I can't believe it, I've lost everything and everyone.
I ran away from Glinda, I left Fiyero and I've practically abandoned Nessa.
But I still have the Grimmerie and I can use it, for good this time.
What happened to all those innocent monkeys is my fault, if I can't make that right then I can do something.
The wizard is a fraud and everyone should know, but no one would believe me.

I have to make everything right, everyone is terrified of me and I can't do anything about it.
Nessa.
I have to find Nessa or more importantly I have to find father, if he stands with me, if I have the governor of munchkin land on my side people will have to believe me.
I've been away for two years, I wonder if father still hates me?
Stupid question.
Even if father won't help me, if Nessa asks him he will have to.
He would do anything for her.

I wish I had never left shiz, I could deal with all the staring, but now the people genuinely fear me.
I always saw myself as a protagonist but now I'm everyone else's villain.
Once I've seen Nessa and father and convinced him to stand by me, I'll go and be with fiyero.
If no one believes me then we will run away for good, and if they do then I can live peacefully.
That's all I want.
To live without fear.
I wonder if Boc is with Nessa, he always seemed oddly uninterested in her and I don't want her to get hurt.

"Found the spell yet?" Fiyero asks grinning stupidly,
I flip through the Grimmerie slowly hoping to find a spell to transport me to nessa.
"No, not yet"
"I don't see why you have to go back to your father, he treated you awfully"
I scowl at Fiyero,
"I'm not just going back for father, I want to see my sister,"
Fiyero comes and sits beside me, he pulls the bit of ribbon from the Grimmeries spine and places it on my page, he closes the book gently.
"What if she's changed, what if they capture you, I can't risk loosing you"
I stare at Fiyero,
"Don't you have to go and be with Glinda, she's going to be expecting you"
Fiyero smiles cunningly,
"Glinda thinks I'm on guard duty"
Fiyero slides his hand gently up my back and rests it on my shoulder, it feels awful sneaking behind Glindas back like this.
"Nessa won't try to capture me, she loves me" I say hopefully, though Fiyero has given me a new fear that I hadn't thought of.
"If you say so."

I reopen the book and begin to scan through it again.
Nothing.
There had to be some spell that I can use to teleport.
I have to see Nessa again before any of the guards find me.
"You don't have to do this you know, you don't have to help me escape"
Fiyero puts a hand under my chin,
"But I want to," he says enchantingly, "I don't care what it takes"
I flip through more of the pages,
"Fiyero, Oz is never going to be the same again" I say solemnly,
Fiyero nods,
"Oz was never perfect"
Those are such simple words, but they mean so much to me.
I was never perfect, no ones perfect.
I used to think Glinda was, but she's not, she's self centred and too easily offended,
Father thinks Nessa is the very definition of perfection, but his guilt for crippling her and his hatred for me shields his view of how bratty and miserable Nessa can be.
Nothing is perfect.
"Your right Fiyero"
"Of course" he says strongly.
I laugh, even in the most scary of times I can still laugh, it's incredible.

I finally find the right spell and show it to Fiyero,
"Here it is, this one will do the trick" I say thrusting the book into his face,
"I don't know what your showing me that for, I can't read it"
I sometimes forget that nobody in all of Oz can read it accept from me.
It makes me feel frightened and excited all at the same time.
"Promise you can handle it Elphaba" Fiyero says anxiously
I smile at him,
"I've been handling my fathers nasty remarks for years now, this is child's play"
Fiyero holds my hands tightly,
"Be back soon" he says lovingly.

Fiyero slips out of our hiding place and back up to the surface, I place the open spell book in front of me.
If father refuses to help i always have my secret weapon.
I'd never use magic on him, but I do know the one thing about him that he is most ashamed of.
That he's the reason Why Nessa is the way she is, if I threatened to tell Nessa the truth he'd have to help me.
He cares about Nessa to much to upset her like that.
Yes.
It's the only weapon I've ever had against my father but I've always worried about nessas reaction too much but this is important.
It could be the difference between a war in Oz and a peaceful government.
The wizard has to go and munchkin land is my only hope.
As much as I hate to admit it my future lies with my father.

I look at the page on the book and begin to Chant.
A thick green smoke begins to appear around me.
It's working.
I continue to chant the spell until i'm at the last word.
I feel my surrounding begin to change and I stand up straight.
I'm in some sort of glass box.
I recognise it straight away.
Fathers closet, in his office.
I see Nessa through the glass, admiring her reflection in he golden hand mirror.
It remind me of when me where children.
It was easier then.