Before you (Fred Weasley)

CHAPTER 47

"I love you Alice" Fred said, his hands still on my face. His eyes still looking into mine.

How could I not say it back? The three words that I had always wanted to hear from him some day, became the three words that made me want to run away.

I started to breathe heavily, what the fuck was I supposed to do now? I had let myself slip like an idiot and here I was, being told these words by Fred.

I gently pushed Fred away from me and walked towards the bed, shutting my suitcase. I hated myself for what I was about to do.

"Fred, I have to go" I didn't want to go, I wanted to stay. But this time, it was different.

"A-Alice no, please don't go" Fred's voice cracked as he tried to stop me from lifting my luggage.

"Please don't leave me, I don't want to have to go through all those months without you again" Fred said.

I wanted to tell him that I loved him too.

"Please tell everyone else that I'm sorry to leave so abruptly" I said to Fred, trying not to look at him.

I was being terrible, and I fucking hated myself for it. I couldn't believe that I was becoming the person who made Fred sad.

"But why? When are you going to tell me what it is Alice?"

I allowed myself to look at him. I owed him an explanation.

"Not now. If I say anything now something terrible could happen. That's all I can tell you at the moment Fred" my voice broke a little.

Fred's eyes studied my face for a brief moment before he took a few steps backwards. Then, he took a deep breath, his arms by his sides.

"I'll see you Al" he whispered.

"I'll see you too Fred" I whispered back.

We had an understanding. I didn't know what it was but it was present, it kept us from breaking apart.

When I left this time, it was different. I was going to find my way back to him, I didn't expect him to wait for me. That would be unfair, but if he did, I would find my way back to him.

My mother had once told me 'There is no change without sacrifice'.

That's what my mother had done all her life, sacrifice.

I always thought it was a terrible quote, but I knew what she meant now. My mother had sacrificed her love for Sirius just to keep up the name of the family. She had sacrificed her protection and happiness for my own.

You always end up sacrificing for someone you love. I hated sounding all sad and moody but I was beginning to see sense in her words.

But I wasn't going to sacrifice. And I wasn't going to give in either.

.

The rest of Christmas was a drag. Narcissa and my mother still thought I was at the Weasleys and the Weasleys thought I was with Narcissa and my mother at the manor.

But in reality, I was at Madame Evanora's a small pub in my village, Atlantes. The Christmas break would be over tomorrow.

I had spent Christmas and New Years with some old witches and their children at this pub, it wasn't much but it was warm and cheery.