Sweet Caroline

#29 New Year's Eve

Christmas break is supposed to be a happy time. Two weeks off from work, getting to see my friends and family... I love this time of year. The decorations, the hot coco, taking walks in the snow. I love all of it. This year is different, though. When I pull up in from of Shaughna's place for New Year, I'm exhausted.

Nathan kept his promise and he and Elise picked me up at my place when they went to the police to file a report and press charges against Trevor. Of course, Nathan and I had to act like I was only there because I was the one who found the drawing and because I'm Rose's teacher. Not that Elise would have noticed anything. She was totally out of it, trembling the entire time. I had to give a statement and luckily, the police and the people from Child Protective Services made us feel like they took our allegations very seriously.

The headmaster and John filed a report as well, including all the notes I'd made about every single fit Rose had thrown, and every conversation I'd had with her. Thank God I'm an overachiever and I keep files on everything concerning the kids.

I left for my hometown after a few days to celebrate Christmas with my parents. Nathan called me the day after to tell me what had gone down over there. A child psychologist had talked to Rose and it turned out that Trevor had indeed put his hands under her skirt and that he'd threatened to kill her mother if she ever told anyone. He'd only put his hands in her underwear a few times, but that felt like a strange thing to be relieved about. It could have been worse, but I still wanted to cut off his dick. Luckily, he'd never had enough time to do more, since Elise only left them alone in a room together when she cooked dinner or took a shower. He'd never spent the night at their place and he'd never gone anywhere with Rose without Elise.

The best news was that Trevor was, in fact, in jail right now. Not because of what he'd done to Rose, but because the police had searched his place and found enough child porn on his computer to put him away for a long time. Nathan and Elise were still gonna fight to get him convicted for what he did to Rose as well, but at least he was behind bars already, awaiting his official sentence.

Nathan was shaken up, of course. Elise didn't want to be alone, so she was living with Nathan at his house. That pretty much meant that Rose had both of her parents under one roof again. I couldn't help but wonder what that was like for all of them. It must be nice for Rose to have so much support and to not have to see Trevor anymore, but I was selfishly hoping that this wouldn't bring Nathan and Elise closer together.

Once I was brought up to speed, Nathan and I didn't communicate anymore. When New Year's Eve arrives and I drive from my parents' house to Shaughna's, I haven't talked to him in days. Part of me feels like I may as well face facts. Our relationship has barely even started and it's over already. After one date.

I can't even blame him. Everything that happened must have put things in perspective for him. Rose is his number one priority, as she should be. I am an unwanted distraction from his family. And even though he and Elise are divorced, she needs him right now and she's the mother of his kid. There is no place for me in his life. He'd been trying to tell me this from the moment we met. I should have listened.

So... there I am. In front of Shaughna's apartment, trying to slap a smile on my face. It's New Year's Eve after all. We're gonna dress up and go out. And while I'm not planning on getting drunk, I can sure use a drink right now.

Shaughna greets me at the door with two glasses of champagne. It's like that girl can read my mind. She's in a robe and her hair is in a cute disarray. It's gonna take at least an hour before she'll be ready, whereas I only need to shimmy into my dress and slap on some make-up.

"Girl, we need to find you a man," Shaughna tell me when she picks up on my foul mood. "Someone hot."

"Shaugna..." I sigh. "I don't want someone new. Not even for a one-night stand. I just want Nathan. And if I can't have him, then I just want to be on my own."