Rabbit Heart - Merlin Fanfiction

Reconciliation

Elaine stands alone in the alcove waiting for Gwen to return. Her lack of sleep and her ever growing hunger had made her weak and she could wish for nothing more than to be lounging around in her room. Gwen's hurried footsteps grow fainter and fainter until all that is left is silence. Elaine shudders, nervous of the silence - the last time she was left alone phantom Knights spilled out through the walls.

Another set of footsteps break the uncomfortable silence, Elaine perks up and steps out from the alcove. The footsteps are faster than she anticipated,Gwen must have been concerned for her.
"Gwen!" She says cheerily only to be hastily grabbed by the arms and spun around. She stands startled in the corridor. "Your not Gwen!" She cries, with a little bit too much disappointment present in her voice. She looks upon the servant in the tattered brown jacket, hunched over, hands on his knees - he'd been running.

"Why'd you step out like that?!" He says in between deep intakes of breath.
"Why are you not Gwen - I think that's the real question!"
Merlin straightens up,
"No it's not!"
Elaine scowls - "I'm asking the questions here"
"I actually think I asked first..."
"Merlin"
"Yes?"
"Shut up"

Merlin pulls a face where the sides of his mouth droop and he frowns. A silence follows. Elaine goes to turn away but ends up turning back to face him.
"I'm sorry..." they say in unison and then look stupidly embarrassed for all of thirty seconds.
"You start," he offers still dusting himself off.
"I'm sorry," Elaine begins, "I thought you were Gwen, I'm starving she's bringing food - I can't stick that council meeting a moment longer" she quickly admits.
Merlin's face drops
"It's started?!" He gasps.
"Yeah it's been going on for a while now?"
He stomps his foot slightly and looks up at the stone ceiling.
"Arthur's going to kill me" he mumbles as he looks back down to Elaine only to find her nodding in agreement making him feel worse.
"He probably will, but I think he'll be grateful for the interruption! I've seen more life in a library than in that room" she smiles.
"Is that so?" He questions, "Wouldn't you like to know" she grins deviously, eyes narrowing.

"I better let you go" he says awkwardly shuffling his feet. It's obvious he is desperate not to be any later than he currently is but his unwillingness to attend may as well be written all over his face. "I'm sorry I nearly knocked you over -"
"The fault is mine I shouldn't have been so harsh" she admits shrugging it off.

Merlin starts to walk towards the chamber door and stops. He turns on the spot and looks at Elaine.
"I'd hate to assume but it's just, you and me, I... Have I done something to offend you?"
Elaine looks quizzical and Merlin swallows hard fearing that he really had got the wrong end of the stick.
"Ah!" She says aloud - remembering as if she could forget.
"Do the Knights of Medhir mean anything to you?" She says moving closer to him. Merlin looks sideways towards the window. The guilt was there, the memories.
"I'm assuming they do" she says closing in.
"Why do you ask?"
Elaine swallows knowing that how ever her words come out they would be far from kind.
"You were going to let her die!" She breathes - closing her eyes - she can still picture the Knight slicing through her.
Merlin shakes his head, "I didn't want to... Honestly I, I feel so bad-"
"I hope you do" Elaine says poignantly "there must have been some other way ~ Emrys ~ you of all people would be able to find one. You scarred her, she's not the same so why do I find myself picking up the pieces?" She questions. Merlin wasn't sure if he felt himself tremble slightly, she was fearsome when she was angry - made even more so by the fact it was quiet - she didn't want to draw attention to them. Or maybe it was the fact she had called him Emrys?
"Elaine I'm so so sorry"
"I've hardly got any family left as it is and you were going to let one die? Arthur maybe your destiny but it doesn't mean you can kick the others in the dirt" Elaine bites back with more ferocity than she intended. It was definitely a trait she had picked up from Morgana - Merlin knew it all too well.

Elaine looks away shaking her head, ashamed - frightened to lose her temper. Merlin despite being older finds himself being put in his place. She had a point but she wasn't there then, she didn't know. His glassy eyes said it all, Elaine could feel the guilt bubbling up inside her, maybe she'd gone too far. Her late night talks with Morgana, the nights where Morgana would relive the horrors of her past had clearly resonated with her more than she had realised.

"I know this is old news and in the past - and I'm sure at the time there was no other way, but... It just" the words fall away, "I'm sorry I just..." She shakes her head again sighing heavily.

"As am I Elaine, I'm truly sorry - but she's still here - I have tried to help her, all my attempts were never fruitful. What else can I do?"

"I know" Elaine mumbles, one hand continuously clenching and letting go.

"How do you know about this?"
"It seems the walls have stories of their own" she sighs honestly, looking at the walls fearful of whatever else might materialise. Merlin looks surprised, and he too looks at the seemingly tranquil walls. He didn't even know that was possible.

"Merlin I'm -"
"It's fine, it was -" they look at each other, it seemed talking at the same time was going to be their thing.

"I just want you to know that if there was any other way - I swear I would have chosen it"
Elaine looks him in the eye, those sparklingly blue eyes that held so much power. She nods.

"Friends?" He asks, "friends" she replies as she moves in to give him a small hug to repair the damage she done. She pulls away and they stare off out of the window.

Gwen's hurried footsteps begin to grow louder - food at last.