Chapter 30 : She Works Through It

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IDUNA

My legs worked hard to escape the looming presence of the Castle.

I'd never known the stone walls to be so cold and uninviting. But right now they made we want to scream! Who would have thought the pressures of being with Agnarr could be so big? This wasn't what I had expected; it made me wonder if I really knew what I'd gotten myself into.

I shook my head and tried to focus on getting to Halima - I knew she would be able to calm me, she had done so before. She was really the only person who could. Maybe apart from Agnarr but, as much as I hated to admit it, he was one of the reasons for my distress this time.

I had to get away from here; away from him.

Tears began to prick the corners of my eyes as that thought crossed my mind - it wasn't fair to blame him - but I swiped them away with my sleeve.

When I finally made it out of the Castle gates, I tore down the streets and Arendelle blurred passed me. I startled many people but I barely realised they were even there as my mind was so far away.

When I at last made it home, I rapped urgently against the wooden door.

At first there was no answer and I knocked again, panicking slightly. A sudden jolt made me fear Halima might still be at the Castle and in my frenzy I had just completely forgotten. But a quick look at the lowering sun reminded me it was late and Halima had to be home by now.

I raised my trembling fingers to knock a third time when the door opened and Halima stood in front of me.

"Good heavens child." she said with a dash of impatience, "Have you never heard of - oh my word, whatever is the matter. What's happened?" her voice changed immediately after she caught the sorrow casting a deep shadow across my face.

I couldn't find my voice, so I just fell against her instead, wrapping my arms around her and crying softly into her shoulder.

She hardly seemed surprised by my outburst as she wrapped an arm around me, using the other to shut the door and navigate her way into the kitchen where she helped me into a chair before seating herself opposite me.

"What happened sweetheart?" she asked, "And don't hold anything back. I need to know everything."

I couldn't shake the feeling she was referring to the time she found me while I was still mourning the Forest. It had probably been the last time she saw me in so much despair. Except - I suddenly remembered the night when I'd told her was Northuldran. It had been that night where I told her the whole truth; I'd told her everything and hadn't held anything back. And as a result, I had find a mother.

So I took a deep breath and told her everything again; about the prospect of marriage, the fears I had, the worry of having to change myself in order to win the favour of Agnarr's advisors, the very idea of having him out of my life and worst of all - with another woman.

Halima pulled all the stops to get me to calm down. She lit me sweet smelling candles, brought in a concerned Cricket, gave me lavender tea, hugs, ginger biscuits, honey, and too many handkerchiefs to count ...

But they were all to no avail. I was a wreck and somehow I couldn't calm down no matter how hard I tried.

Eventually, Halima simply whisked me to my room, bringing with her an entourage of Cricket, the biscuits, the tea, a few candles and the handkerchiefs. There, she sat with me on my bed until I finally fell asleep.

The next morning I woke to the lingering smells of burnt out candles and cold tea; a sea of colourful handkerchiefs rippled as I moved and cookie crumbs tumbled across the blanket.

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