Chapter 43 : When All Is Lost

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AGNARR

"She's gone."

"I know." I muttered, bitterly swiping at my eyes and turning away from my office window where I'd just watched Iduna sail away; leaving me forever.

Arianna was standing in my doorway, her eyes swimming with tears and her stance panicked. She was clearly just as upset as I was.

"I watched her boat leave."

"Then why are you still here?" she accused, screwing her face up in a frown.

I looked up from where I'd been staring at the floor and knitted my brow at her, "What do you want me to do 'Anna? I can't just jump on a boat and run after her!"

"Why not?"

My brows furrowed even more, "It may have escaped your notice, dear sister, but I'm engaged. I can't just walk out on Renata. Not with all that happened with Rufeal and especially not when it's probably the whole reason why Iduna left in the first place! And besides, you told me yourself that I had to marry Renata to save the world from war!"

"That was before Iduna ran away!" Arianna stamped her foot indignantly, "You have to make this right. You have to bring her back!"

"Why me? You can just as easily go after her." I argued, pointing at her angrily.

"She won't come back for me!" and Arianna suddenly blinked back fresh tears. "I know she won't come back if I ask. But she might come back for you."

My hands pulled at my hair as those words escaped her lips. "How do you know that? She hates me, you've said it yourself. She was in denial when I went to talk to her, I could see it in her eyes. And anyway, she's gone to make sure I marry Renata. You know what the last thing she said to me was? I remember it as clear as day, 'I'm not giving you a choice.' She was referring to my engagement. I didn't know what she meant at the time. But it all makes sense now. She must have thought leaving Arendelle would make sure the wedding goes ahead as planned, so the Alliance won't fall. And now? I - I feel it would be disrespectful to not follow her last wishes. So - I can't believe I'm saying this but ... maybe it's ... for the best ... that Iduna ... is ... gone." it took every fibre of my being to say that last word.

Arianna's eyes widened in complete shock and alarm, and her next words tripped over each other to be heard, "Agnarr! Can you hear yourself right now? Do you even know what you're saying? You can't be serious!"

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. Of course I knew what I was saying. Of course I didn't want to be serious - this was not the way I wanted things to go - but I had to be.

Arianna herself had told me to put all this behind me, that I had been foolish to even think about tempting war simply for a love I didn't have the luxury of having. And now she was telling me to put all that behind me again? To go after Iduna? Did she not know that would be just as risky as my previous threats?

Did she not know what that would do to me?

Everything had just got so messed up in the past year, especially in recent weeks, and as much as I didn't like the situation now, it had never been clearer. There was a relief in it actually. A relief that Arianna couldn't understand because her relationship with Frederic was as bright as the sun and hadn't had so much as a hiccup to disrupt its progress.

I suddenly opened my eyes again and pushed passed my sister, but she continued to scream after me. I wanted to shout back for she was unbearable when she got like this, but I held it all in.

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