The Love That Bonds Us

Chapter 40 : Love And Hate

IDUNA

"No way." James was impressed, "They really asked for you? I mean, you're the best here by far, but - wow, what an honour!" he ran a hand through his hair in amazement, "Carving for the best. You must be thrilled!"

"I am." I said truthfully, somewhat irked by his interruptions, but mostly amused by how excited he was for me. "Now please, stop distracting me. I've never done something so important before. I can't afford to mess this up." I gestured to the piece I was working on.

James' eyes widened in realisation, "So you - I need - of course - I'll er - I'll let you get on with it." he pointed his fingers at me awkwardly before bowing his head slightly as he turned back around.

I grinned at him before continuing to scrape out grooves in the wood, making a neat and intricate pattern on what was slowly beginning to resemble a cabinet door.

Wood carving had always been my escape. Whenever I'd felt particularly low, I had gathered all my tools, found a chunk of wood, and carved away to my heart's content in the porch outside our house. And with what had recently transpired with Agnarr, carving had continued to offer such a distraction.

I was just so angry with him. I was angry with him for changing, I was angry with him for putting me through so much, I was angry with him for everything.

Normally I didn't feel like a bomb about to explode. I was getting on with my life just fine since I'd made the decision to let him go. But every so often, when I didn't have anything else to think about, something or other would remind me of him and my rage would rush to the forefront of my mind. 

Seeing him yesterday had been awful. Usually, if Arianna sensed him approaching us, she would go out her way to ensure I didn't see him. She would slam a door shut or drag me the other way before I had to see his face. She didn't want me getting hurt by him again, and she also knew that my depression had manifested itself into anger.

But unfortunately he had surprised us the day before, and she didn't have a chance to do anything. I was still amazed with myself for not bursting into a heated speech of how he had wronged me. Somehow I had managed to walk away before I did anything stupid and started an argument.

However, that wasn't to say that, if presented with the same situation again, I would be able to walk away so calmly.

I just knew that if I ever saw him again, things would not end well for either of us.

All too soon my carving shift was over and I had to leave the store with James.

While Thomas didn't know exactly what was bothering me, he did know there was something on my mind, and he forced me to take shorter shifts until I was back to being myself.

It was sweet of him to not overwork me, but at the same time, he didn't understand that sometimes I actually needed to wipe myself out by doing way to much.

"I'll see you tomorrow Id." James said, giving me his signature salute as we reached the point where we went our separate ways.

I grinned half-heartedly at him, "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow."

And with a last wave, he ran off like he did everyday.

I continued on my own way home, trying my best to not think about him - 

A hand unexpectedly grabbed my wrist and I whirled around, yanking my arm back and preparing to chastise whoever had just touched me. But I stopped when I realised it was none other than Agnarr himself.

After a moment of admiring those eyes, I came back to myself and scowled. Walk away calmly. Walk away calmly.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry Iduna, for everything I put you through -"