Noah Beck • Instagram

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{Bella's POV}

When the knock on the door sounded through the apartment, my anxiety started to build. I opened the door, Noah standing before me, he looked like a mess. His eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks were damp with tears, and his hair was tossed and messy.

"Bella-" his voice cracked, a tear gliding down his cheek. I wanted to reach and hug him, tell him everything's gonna be okay. But I can't. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I can't even-" he took a sharp breath, before breaking down completely. He was still standing in the hallway.

"Get in here." I mumbled softly, stepping to the side. He stumbled in, hiccuping as a sob came out. "I hurt you. I fucking hurt you." He breathed out, his hand gripped his hair. I stood there silent. "How can you even look at me? I can't look at myself, how? Y-You hate me." He let himself fall to floor. Similar to how he left me, alone.

"I don't hate you Noah." He looked at me, with sad and teary eyes. I sat down on the floor with him, maybe a foot away from his lying body. "That was our first fight. I guess it was our last too. But that's not what I wanted. You broke up with me, and I was exactly like you are now. And I should hate you, because I felt awful. And I wanted to hate you, but I couldn't. And I hated that I couldn't stop loving you. Even after you said shit about the break up. And even though I was so fucking dead inside, there was still that part of me, that was so in love with you. And I hated myself, because you made me feel like I wasn't enough. And there were so many people that said I would get over you, but I can't. I still love you so much, and that part of me isn't dying, and I want it to. Because I don't want to love you. I get scared, because of how much I love. I didn't even know I could love this passionately."

Noah was still sobbing, and a few tears of my own had spilled onto my cheeks.

"No. Don't you dare think that you aren't good enough. Don't you fucking dare think that. You are too good for me. And I hate myself for making you feel like I did. And I want to do everything in my power to make that feeling inside you go away. I love you. I love you so fucking much. Please don't let me walk out of here without you as my girl. I miss calling you my princess. I hate living with the thought that some guy could just sweep you off your feet." I scooted closer to him, finally fulfilling the urge to wipe his tears.

"Can you h-hold me?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. I nodded, pulling him up and walking to the couch. He laid down between my legs, his head resting on my chest. My arm was around his shoulders and neck, giving him comfort. Why am I doing this? Because this is what I wanted when I was sobbing on my apartment floor with a broken heart. I wanted Noah to hold me. And I can't keep acting like I don't love this boy.

My hand rested against his head, my fingers playing with his hair. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." He sobbed, shaking his head. "I know, shhh." I wrapped my leg around his lower back, pressing a gentle kiss to his head. His sobs had turned into quiet whines, and the to almost inaudible whimpers.

I knew he was gonna fall asleep. He was always tired after crying. And after this breakdown? He'll sleep for years. Kayla walked through the door ready to shout, but shutup when she saw me holding the boy who had captured my heart, and broke it. She was about to protest.

But I pressed my finger to my lips telling her to keep her mouth shut.

{3rd person POV)

Kayla was ready to bite both their heads off. But when she saw the way Bella was looking at the boy in her arms, she knew she couldn't. Bella still loved him, Kayla knew that. After all the times Bella cried to her about how she loved him and couldn't stop, Kayla knew that better than anyone.

Kayla hung her sweatshirt up on the coat rack, walking to her room without a word. Bella's eyes never left Noah's face. He looked at peace, finally able to escape the nightmare that was heartbreak. It was more than Bella got. She didn't sleep for at least a week after the break up. She either busy crying or baking enough cookies to feed all of the US.

But with the boy she loved in her arms, she could sleep peacefully tonight. She didn't know whether her idea was good or not, but she knew what her heart wanted.

Her heart wanted, Noah Beck.