Stepbrother - Bellarke fanfic

Chapter 34

~ I W O N T G I V E U P~

Clarke's POV

The night before, Octavia and I had a really hard time. We were both so emotional and we really needed comfort. Octavia and I had always been close, ever since we met but now it was different. It was like we didn't have to talk in words, we understood each other. We felt the pain the other was under, and we knew there wasn't anything you could say that would help it. We knew we just had to cry. We had to take some time for ourselves. Octavia blamed herself for what happened, and I was just so lost. My boyfriend had broken up with me, I had a horrible panic attack and I was on a week vacation with my whole goddamn family around. Things weren't so good at that moment. But I had Octavia, to listen if I needed to let things out, and her shoulder to cry on if I just had to be weak. The whole day, I had to be strong, but the second everyone was sleeping, we allowed ourselves to truly feel and to be emotional. That was what was most beautiful in my relationship with Octavia. I knew she would never judge me but she would talk to me about things that weren't right to her. She would share her opinion and advice. She would always be there if I needed, even when I didn't think I needed her. Let's be honest here, without her, I couldn't have gone through that vacation.

I had just woken up, it was 8 am and Octavia was still sleeping next to me. I quietly stood up and I made sure to replace the covers on top of Octavia's body before heading for my drawers. I took out 2 outfits, for Piper and I and a swim suit for both of us. I had no intentions whatsoever to stay in that house with my whole family and with my ex boyfriend who also happens to be my step brother. I was thinking of going to the beach, maybe have a little tan while Piper played in the sand. I wanted to be alone, that was for sure. I got out of the bedroom and closed the door very silently before I stepped down the stairs. I heard some cries and I automatically started stepping faster until I reached the source of the noise. My mother was trying to calm Piper down, but it was useless. I stepped in the small bedroom, and smiled at my mother.

"Good morning honey." She smiled back.

"Good morning. Here, let me take her." I proposed extending my arms to reach for Piper still crying loudly at the tops of her small lungs. She nodded and handed me Piper.

"Are you hungry baby? Yeah that's probably it. Just a second." I breastfed her while my mom was sitting across from me. Talking about all the beautiful places that we should visit. I faked a smile every time she proposed something new but my mind kept going back to yesterday. To the whole panic attack, the break up. I had to talk about this with someone else, not Octavia, definitely not with my mother and certainly not with Bellamy himself. I knew what I needed, I just hoped I could somehow manage to arrange something so it could be possible. My mom was talking about some beach while I interrupted her.

"Hey mom, I was actually wondering if I could go to the beach today, just me and Piper. Which one do you think I should go to?" I asked her. She seemed to think for a moment before she smiled.

"There's this beach, it's called Mohita Playa, it's not far from here. I could give you the directions if you'd like." She gently offered.

"Yeah, I'd really love that. Thanks mom!" I thanked her.

"Of course honey, when are you leaving? Are you going alone? When will you come back? Do you want us to accompany you girls? Are you sure you'll b—" she started throwing questions at me, I didn't even have time to answer none of them.

"Mom, I swear I'll be fine! Piper and I are leaving in not long, and we'll come back for dinner. Is that alright with you?" I cut her off.

"Yes of course dear." She sighed. I knew she was still worried about me leaving her, she didn't want me to go anywhere alone. I could understand, now that I had a daughter, I knew how traumatizing it must have been for her, that I was taken away from her.